13 juillet 2009

I want to meet other girls like me, but I'm not ready to be OUT since my siblings are homophobic.

i live in the u.s.i am 13 i want to meet other bisexuals but have no clue how i have just recently came out to my parents im not ready to go public cuz of my homophobic bro n sis so how can meet other bis or lez girlz. pleaz help me


Hi ananomouse,

I’m not sure which part of the States you are in, so it’s hard to give you specific organizations to turn to in order to meet other bi or lesbian girls. Different states have different politics and tolerance for LGBT people.

There is however, the Gay-Straight Alliance (http://www.gsanetwork.org), which might help if you’re in or near California. There’s also a list of gay and lesbian community centers, by state, here http://gaylife.about.com/od/informationresources/a/ccindex.htm.

Have you heard about PFLAG? (http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=194&srcid=-2) This organization (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) might be useful for various

kinds of support, especially if your own family continues to be difficult, or does not want to support you.

http://www.outproud.org/ is a site that caters to queer youth, that you might like to look at, and possibly find others your own age to talk with, through their nation-wise search engine: http://www.queeramerica.com/

I think you are very courageous to come out to some members of your family, even though your siblings seem to be pretty homophobic! Siblings tease each other for just about anything, so try not to let it get to you TOO much. Hopefully they will eventually lose interest in picking on you or making you feel bad about your orientation, if that is what they’ve been doing so far. Not everybody knows how to deal with a queer friend or loved one, and we each have our own time in which to accept it.

Hopefully they will come round at some point. Meanwhile, try to seek help from a guidance counselor or community center that you feel you can trust and open up to. If there is a community center or other organization in your area that caters to LGBT youth, I’m sure, in no time you will be able to meet people your age to discuss and share your feelings with! Maybe even some cute girls, who knows 😉

For now, don’t rush anything, you have plenty of years to meet some interesting and open-minded people. People who will accept you for whom you are!

The internet is a vast resource. If you cannot meet people in person because you’re not ready to go public, as you said, please be mindful of who you encounter online. Best to look for websites or forums specifically meant for teens, rather than the whole LGBT community at large. Sometimes in the broader website communities, it’s hard to tell who’s behind the computer screen. Be safe, and make sure if you plan to meet anyone from a website, face-to-face, that you meet them in a public space, somewhere you can seek help should something go wrong, and if possible, never meet someone alone. Bring a trusted friend or group of friends.

Good luck, and don’t hesitate to write us back if you want to provide more specific details about where you are located, or even if you have any other questions we might be able to help you with!

Laura and Dee,

for Alterheros