28 April 2007

Am I bisexual or bi-curious ? And how could I come out to my homophobic roomate ?

I am extremely confused right now. For a long time, I had lots of crushes on guys, and even one the beginnings of dating one guy. I was SURE I was 100% heterosexual, but now I’m not so positive. There is a girl in one of my college courses that I have developed feelings for. Not only that, but I have also begun to think of OTHER girls as attractive. Am I Bisexual? Bi-curious? I’m fairly certain I could be able to “come out” to my family if so, but I don’t want to tell them I’m something I’m not! If I am Bisexual or Bi-curious, the person I’d love to tell is my roommate, but she believes Gays, Lesbians, and Bisexuals are posessed by demons. I have read several of your other answers to other questions, and it seems you know a lot about these issues. Do you know of any solution to my problems, both with my roommate and my (for lack of a better word) crush? Please help!!!

Inge Rollin

Dear Lillian,

I understand from your question that you are wondering if you are bisexual or bi-curious, since you started developing feelings for a girl in your class, and also starting looking at other girls while you had crushes on guys in the past. I sadly can’t tell you if are one, the other or anything else, since only you and your life experience can give you an idea of that answer.

While exploring this side of your personnality might be an indicator for yourself and what you wish to discover, no one can truly tell you, but you. You might want to wait until you make any kind of coming out, or you might want to discuss your own feelings with some members of your family. Having someone to discuss with about all this questions and feelings should help you.

As for your roommate, starting by talking about homosexuality or bisexuality, opening a positive discussion on the theme might be a good start, trying to demystify and clarify what sexual orientations are, since you already know her opinion. If you think you don’t have enough information to have this discussion with her, a school or organization’s specialist like a sexologist or a social worker or a queer association could probably help you with it. Some of them could probably do a kiosk or a workshop to demystify sexual orientation in your school or campus.

I hope this helps you, truly,

Inge Rollin, Sexologue B.A.