Was I too late to discover my sexuality in my early 20s?
I discovered I was bi when I was 20/21 after realizing my great interest in same-sex romances, watching yaoi, tv dramas, and comics that captured my heart’s interest. I mostly had sexual desires for men and women way back when I was 14, indulging in mostly women and some men privately to “pleasure” myself from fantasies or porn (straight & gay). I didn’t engage in any relationships or sex due to my family’s conservative beliefs and environment, and instead focused on my academics and leadership roles, avoiding or contradicting LGBTQ matters among the majority of my peers. The only safe space I had to enjoy these feelings was at Starbucks or in my bedroom.
I kept this up until junior year in college, retouching my identity during the pandemic (19 years old), where I explore it openly without any restraints or limitations from my family or friends. Over the days and months, I started to discover I wasn’t completely straight, nor completely gay. Instead, I found myself to be bi, that I felt a great sense of relief for my life to live.
I have been in two pride parades, joined the pride alliance, and connected more in the queer community in person and online. I came out to a few friends, and my mother. After college, I dated and made out with a guy that I loved until we split ways, and still seeking a good relationship down the road. But back to my question.
After all these things, I ask myself every single day and night–was I too late to discover my sexuality in my early 20s? If so, why didn’t I open myself to this matter earlier when I was 14 or in high school?
I think about this because I feel like I’m leaving everyone blank about my personal life–from my father to everyone who knows me in their circle. I loved to be with a guy but don’t how to approach this matter when everyone thinks that I’m a straight conservative young black man, which I’m no longer am not.
Sorry if this response is long-winded