Hi. I would like to know about my sexuality.
When I was younger, and people thought I was a girl, I had crushes on only boys. Now, looking back, I'm not sure if the crushes were real, or if soceity - (did I spell that right?) and my family- pressured me into wanting to fake crushes so I could fit in with my female cousins and classmates. looking back, there were enormous signs of my omnigender identity lying there, just being ignored. the way I wanted to hang out with my boy cousins more than my female ones, the times I played wearing both a princess dress and a fake mustache, and the way I was so upset the night my mom was telling my sister about gender indentities, and when I told my mom I was non-binary after hearing that term, she told me I wasn't, which might have been one of the worst nights of my life. but enough about my gender. I'm positive of it now and I want to know my orientation.
Later, just after I came out, I started having crushes on girls. I was madly in love with my best friend for awhile, but now I'm shipping her with my other friend, so I'm really over her. By then, (and still now) I find straight white cis boys repulsive (and other boys pretty bad as well.) which was the exact type of guy I used to crush on (or maybe not?) but here's the weirdest part. I was so crazy about this kid (who told everyone he was non-binary at the time) that I sent him a message, telling him I liked him, then as soon as he said he was actually a boy, I lost complete intrest in him. crazy, I know. Do they have a sexuality fluid orientation? Did I make up all my crushes exept the last one, to be accepted? these questions flood my mind. please help.