9 juin 2006

How can I tell my family and friends about being transgender without loosing them ?

I have been out as bisexual for over a year now, and I am perfectly comfortable with that. However, there’s more to it that I haven’t been completely honest about, I am transgendered, I have felt like a female since I was a child, I remember always feeling more inclined to tkae on the female role in everything rather than the male. I am pretty sure that within the next three years I will begin my transition, just as soon as I raise the money, but I just am so afraid to tell all my friends and especially my parents, everyone already accepts my bisexuality and has no problem with it, however I don’t think they will be as open to my transsexuality. How do I tell my friends and partents that I am transgendered without losing them?


Hi Kevin,

Thanks for writing to Alterheros with your question. The short answer is that when coming out as trans to friends and families, it is best to be prepared. It is always nice to think and hope that people will respond in an incredibly affirming way, but it is good to be prepared for the possibility that they may not react well at first. It may be that everyone will have a great reaction, but it may also take some people time to adjust to your news.

Here are a few resources that may help you build some supports prior to coming out to friends and family. There is a woman named Mary Boenke who is an activist and has a trans child (who is now an adult). She has written a book called ‘Trans Forming Families’ and she can be reached at maryboenke@aol.com. You might also want to see if there is a local chapter of PFLAG in your community. PFLAG as you may know stands for Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, and many PFLAG chapters also included supports for trans people and their families.

I hope you find this helpful, and please feel free to write back again should you have more questions.

Best regards,