17 October 2007

Should I have sex with my friend? He doesn't want a relationship...

I have a friend I’ve know for over 10 years and there’s always been a strong attraction there and still is on both of our parts. Only he says he doesn’t want a relationship but he wants to make love to me. I told him he doesn’t love me to say – “make love”. He never denied it or agreed. Should I have sex with him?

François Paquette

Hi Angelle!

Thanks for your question. If I understand, you’re hesitant to have sex with one of your friends because he doesn’t want any relationship but only sex.

How would you feel about just having sex with someone, without any commitment? Is that something you do? Is that part of your values?

Do you hope that someday you will have a relationship with him? If yes, think again before having sex with him – maybe he will never be interested in any kind of relationship once you will have sex with him. If you don’t see any hope of a couple-relationship with him, do you think it would change anything in your friendship? 10 years of friendship is a lot and if you have sex with him right now, do you still want to be friends with him after?

So many questions that are added to your first question… But only you know the answer! If you choose to have sex with him, don’t forget to use a condom!

François, for AlterHeros