Dear Shiveksha,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing your concerns about feeling attached to your female teachers. I understand that their care and attention towards you, as well as the recognition you receive, brings you happiness. It’s important to explore this attachment and understand its underlying dynamics.

Forming attachments to teachers is not uncommon, especially when they provide a supportive and nurturing environment. Teachers play a significant role in our lives, guiding us academically and emotionally. They can become role models and sources of inspiration. Feeling attached to teachers can be a natural response, particularly if they show genuine care and take notice of your progress.

However, it is crucial to maintain healthy boundaries in these relationships. It’s positive that you have recognized the need to distinguish between a professional relationship and a more personal or private one. Suppressing your thoughts and emotions to get closer to your teachers may hinder your emotional well-being and create an imbalance in the dynamics of your relationships.

It’s worth reflecting on the reasons behind your attachment to your teachers. Given your mention of traumas resulting from assault cases involving males, it’s possible that your positive experiences with female teachers have provided a sense of safety, trust, and validation that you may be seeking as a result of those traumas. Attachments to authority figures who provide support and understanding can be a way to heal and compensate for past negative experiences.

To foster healthy relationships with your teachers and maintain appropriate boundaries, I would suggest the following:

• Self-reflection: Take time to understand your attachment patterns and the reasons behind them. Reflect on how your past experiences may be influencing your current relationships with teachers.
• Establish boundaries: Recognize the line between a professional relationship and a more personal one. Understand that teachers have professional obligations and responsibilities towards all their students.
• Seek support: Consider discussing your concerns with a trusted adult, such as a counselor or a mentor. They can provide guidance and help you navigate your emotions and attachments.
• Expand your social circle: While it’s natural to feel more attached to certain individuals, it’s important to cultivate relationships with peers and friends as well. Expanding your social circle can provide a diverse range of perspectives and support.
• Focus on personal growth: Instead of solely seeking validation from teachers, channel your energy towards personal growth and development. Set goals for yourself and strive to achieve them, gaining a sense of accomplishment and self-worth in the process.

Remember, it’s normal to feel attached to teachers, but it’s essential to maintain appropriate boundaries to ensure healthy and balanced relationships. If your attachment becomes overwhelming or interferes with your daily life, seeking professional help from a psychologist or therapist can provide additional support and guidance.

Take care,

AJ