I want to have sexual interactions to calm my urges.


I am a 15 year old male I want to have sexual interactions which is difficult because of my age and I really can’t wait more what should I do to achieve what I want and what should I do to calm my urges (except masturbating which doesn’t calm me down) I would really appreciate getting both answers

Chris

Hi Chris!

 

Thanks for trusting AlterHéros with your question!

So you want to know how to have sexual interactions because you can’t wait anymore and you want to know what you can do, besides masturbation, to calm these urges.

First of all, it’s a common thing at your age to have these kinds of needs. You’re not alone in this situation! But you have to know that nobody has the ultimate solution for you to meet someone who will also want to have sex with you. This has to be consensual. The person has to be ready and has to know what kind of relationship you want.

So, do you know what kind of relationship you want? Do you want a one time thing? A no-string attached relationship? A romantic relationship?

I invite you before taking action to think about what you are ready to do, what it involves to start this kind of relationship with someone, whether it’s for one time or long-term. This kind of action involves two people or more, so you have to consider the other person’s feelings and thoughts. You have to know what they want and what they are ready to do with you.

In order to have sexual interactions, you have to meet people. You can have sex with someone just because you want to have sex in general, that’s totally okay. But having an interest for someone is also a great way to think about sexual relations. Are you already interested in someone right now? If that’s not the case, the best solution that I have for you is to go out, do the activities that you like to do. What are your hobbies? Do you like sports? Reading? You can go to group activities, that way, you could meet new people that have the same interests as you. Socialisation is the best way to meet people and to make connections. You can also join groups or events  on the internet to meet people your age! I can’t send you links, because I don’t know where you live exactly. But I’m sure you can find some social events near you.

Regarding your need to calm your urges, you won’t be surprised that, despite the fact that you told me that masturbation doesn’t work, I have to tell you that it’s still the best way to do so. Have you explored your own sexual practices? Your desires and your fantasies? There’s a lot of possibilities to vary the kind of masturbation that you do and maybe you could try to go beyond the habits that you have. You can change your routine by touching parts of your body that you never thought to touch. You can try a mindfulness exercise, where you can explore all the sensations your body gets, try touching different parts of your body and concentrate about how it feels. You can also concentrate on fantasies and try different positions than usual. Or you can try anal stimulation or try to masturbate without your hands while your lying on your stomach on your bed. There’s a lot of ways to explore your sexuality with yourself!

If you really want to get your mind off masturbation or calm your libido, you can try to do sports or meditation to evacuate the extra sexual drive that you have. You can also do any activities that you like to make you think about something else. Keeping yourself busy is a great way to avoid thinking about it.

 

I hope I helped you with this answer. Feel free to contact us again if you have more questions!

 

Take care,

 

Émilie (elle/she), intern for AlterHeros


About Émilie Grandmont

Émilie is a bisexual woman and feminist. She is currently studying for a bachelor's degree in sexology at UQAM. She entered the program with the goal of learning more about sexual and gender diversity, sexual health and intersectional sex education. Today, she wants to help survivors of sexual assault and offer an inclusive and safe listening experience to anyone in the LGBTQIA2S+ community. Her friends would describe her as an animal lover, afraid of butterflies and hard to wake up in the wee hours of the morning.

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