13 October 2007

I just feel I am more comfortable in the opposite gender...

Hi, this is kinda embarrassing for me to say, but I just wanted to pose a question. Ever since I was little I was a tomboy. I was roughty and I liked to have fun. But now I’m 13 and things have changed a little. I just feel like I am more comfortable in the opposite gender. One Halloween my friends dared me to be a guy and I did. I wore a wig and it was really believable. I was hanging with some guys and they thought I was a guy too. They played rough with me, but they were careful because I’m really thin. I just felt like I belonged and I was more comfortable with the opposite gender. Also, I definitely DO NOT like girls, I like guys. I’m afraid to talk to my mom, so what’s going on with me? Is there something wrong with me?

François Paquette

Hi Mia!

Thanks for your question. In fact, there are a lot of possibilities about what’s happening right now.

Some people are just more comfortable with guys than girls and act, ways we call, more traditionally “masculine”. Sometimes society forces boys and girls to act in a particular way – to play only with certain toys and not with certain other, to wear only such or such color etc. But sometimes personalities are less “traditional”, and that’s nothing to worry about.

For some people, however, the feeling of being part of another gender is really strong. Deep down, they are another gender than the one they were assigned at birth feel. They want to be recognized as a man (or a woman) and nothing can change that. Try to see if you really want to be a guy or if you just feel more comfortable surrounded by guys, but as a woman. Otherwise, maybe you’re trans.

How do you feel about your body when it is seen as “a girl’s body”? How do you feel about the fact that people call you “Miss” and not “Mr.”?

So, take your time in order to think carefully about your future. Try to see how you picture yourself as an adult – as a woman, maybe less traditional, or as a man?

Hope it helps,

François, for AlterHeros