20 June 2005

I'm afraid of not being accepted by my male friends. Can you help?

Hi, I have recently discovered that I am gay but I really do not know how to break it to my parents or my friends. I am trully afraid of not being accepted by my male friends and possibly even by some members of my family. The reason for this being that I always told everyone I was straight but deep down I knew that I really was attracted to men. So my greatest fear is that my coming out could shock everyone and they might not talk to me anymore. Can you help?


It is already a great step that you admitted to yourself your attraction to men. It’s the first step !

Coming out to your family, friends and peers may seem like the scariest thing you ever did in your life, but keep also in mind that it is often by taking great risks that we reap the greatest rewards. There is a possibility that you might face rejection – and here keep in mind that the rejection might just be a reflex response from someone who needs some time to accept the fact.

Starting with someone who is close to you is often the easiest (or less difficult!) way or coming out. Someone who truly loves you will accept you as are. Think about it from the other point of view: if you were out to make new friends, would you care about their sexual orientation?

Hiding something often takes more energy than letting it out in the open.

You will know when is the right time to come out to someone. It takes courage. But it also takes courage to become a hero!

I would also suggest you to join some local discussion group and talk about it with people who are in the same situation as you. It always helps to have support!