21 March 2006

Can I suppress my feelings until we are ready ?

I told one of my closest guy friends last year that i like him, and that i wasn’t ready to date. Months later he told me that he likes me, but he doesn’t want to ‘start anything’ because he doesn’t really know what he wants in a woman. (Which is understandable because were religious people, and if we were to date, it would be to eventually be to get married.) Lately though, we’ve been hanging out a lot, and i’ll catch him staring at me a lot. And he’ll often find a reason to get close to me, or touch me. So, even though hes not ready, is there potential for a real relationship in the future? How can i suppress my feelings until were both ready?



Having feelings for a friend can often be complicated but I hope that my answer will help you put things in perspective.

A relationship begins when two people feel that they are ready to commit to each other and work on a common goal. If you have a good friendship with the person that you like and the feelings are reciprocal, when the both of you are ready you will make a common decision. But for all of this to happen, you need to know how he feels about it. Asking him questions might help you understand the signals you have been getting from him lately. You will know if he’s been getting closer to you and if he’s figured out what he wants in a woman. But most importantly, you need to know it you are ready to begin a relationship with him.

If those questions are answered and you both discussed the situation it will probably indicate weather you friendship will take a different direction.

Secondly, there are no magic words that can suppress feelings until you are ready and want to experience them with somebody else. By focusing on your friendship it may help you to deal with what you feel. Once again, talking about it and sharing your thoughts with him might help you cope with what you are experiencing.

So don’t be afraid of talking to him, you could both benefit from it and it could bring the two of you closer.

AlterHeros team