10 septembre 2006

What does those attractions means ?

i have been married for 8 yrs now. to a man. i have always had boyfriends. i have always thought some women were more attractive than others. im very particular with women because i know how we are. ive never found a female whom ive clicked with except until recently. there is this woman who is just like me. same mannerisms,likes,dislikes. even my son likes her. besides me she is the only one whom he is very comfortable around. she and i get along well.ive never gotten along ever with another woman the way i have with her. im wondering does this mean im a lesbian? should i tell her? my husband and i are not intimate. im wondering could that be why im so into this woman. i think of her. not so much sexually;however, that has crossed my mind,but i dont think i would ever act on it. its stimulating and uncommon to actually talk to or be around someone who has so much in common and be a woman.does that mean im a lesbian?should i tell her?help.what does this all mean?

sara rahmani

Hi Rhonda,

Thanks for writting to AlterHeroes.

I understand that you have become friends with a woman who you respect, trust and share a lot in common with. From your description, I gather that the ease of your relationship with this woman is very comforting and something that even those close to you, including your son, appreciate. You are looking to clarify if the feelings you’ve developed over the course of this very close and stimulating friendship is a reflection of an underlying attraction to women. You ask if your attraction to your new female friend makes you a lesbian.

Having «clicked» with someone who shares the same interests as you and who stimulates you is a wonderful and very overwhelming experience. Meeting someone who is able to provide you with the emotional freedom, support and encouragement to be yourself is an incredible gift. Becoming physically or emotionally attracted to her in the course of your relationship does not neccessarily mean that you are a lesbian. This attraction is a very normal progression in a loving and repectful relationship. It is not surprising that a relationship as strong as yours has allowed you to develop and explore emotional and physical attraction to another woman. Be patient with yourself and allow your relationship with your friend to develop. Don’t rush into defining or limiting your sexuality and the nature of your relationships. Allow yourself time to explore who you are and appreciate the fruits of your relationship.

Sara, for AlterHeros.