9 September 2009

She won't date me but won't keep her hands off me

Hi I am Tiffany I am bisexual I like this girl aloooooot. She is my best friend right now because of that reason. I’ve asked her out 3 times but she has denied me. What drives me crazy is that she can’t keep her hands off me. She is constantly hugging me and kissing my cheek. My friends all ask if she is my girl because she hogs me and my attention. She will give me 20 minute hugs while breathing on my neck and wrapping her arms around it and kissing and biting my cheek. She jumps into my embrace everyday and kisses my cheek and sometimes my lips. Ever night she sends me a text saying “good night and sweet dreams
beautiful I love you” what is her deal does she like me or what. And if not what can I do to win that angel’s heart!!!!!! I think I may love her.

Kelley R

Hi Tiffany!

Thanks for coming to AlterHeros with your question.

It sounds like your friend is giving you some mixed signals. She has previously denied your requests to go on a date, but at the same time, she acts rather affectionately towards you.

First off, it’s important to have a serious talk with her about your friendship and your feelings towards her. You may want to ask her why she has denied you previously and why she acts affectionately towards you if she has said she doesn’t want to go out with you.

Secondly, do you know if your friend is attracted to females? If she has just recently come out, she may be going through an unsteady time in her life in dealing with her sexuality and may not be ready to date. Perhaps she needs time to adjust to this new revelation in her life before she enters into a relationship. If she is not attracted to females, then the situation gets a bit harder. Perhaps her affectionate feelings towards you are just her way of showing her friendship and nothing more. Again, only by sitting down and talking to her can you find out why she’s acting the way she is.

Whatever the reason is behind her actions towards you, if it is causing you undue stress, try telling her that what she’s doing is “driving you crazy”. Maybe you can explain to her that you don’t understand why she is acting affectionately towards you even while she says she doesn’t want to go out on a date with you.

I hope your conversation with your friend clears things up for you. Please, don’t hesitate to come back to AlterHeros in the future!

All the best,

Kelley, for AlterHeros

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