I reject the male label but am I transsexual?


Hi Jesse,
Thank you for coming to us with your question. As I’m sure you realize, the decision to live as another gender is a very big decision. And yes, you should probably consult a therapist before considering hormone therapy or any sort of reassignment surgery.
You asked if it’s possible that you are transsexual. You yourself said that you believe that it is possible. I agree that you could be transsexual but keep in mind that many transsexuals report having always known or having felt that something was always off, without being able to pinpoint it.
Have you ever tried “passing”? Naturally, before deciding to live the rest of your life as a woman, you might want spend a day walking around as a woman. If you were transsexual, you’d likely feel more comfortable passing as a woman than as man.
Maybe you like the idea of accentuating your feminine side but still want to identify as a man physically. Maybe you’d rather identify as androgynous, if you’re not comfortable with the label male. I could understand why one would reject such a label for more philosophical reasons though.
You say that you enjoy the feel of women’s clothing in a “non-erotic way”. That probably means that what you’re experiencing is not transvestic fetishism. I wouldn’t rule it out completely though.
It’s important to realize that no matter what anybody else’s perspective is, only you can tell for sure what feels right for you. This will likely take a long time to sort out, since you seem to be on the fence about it.
You might want to avoid talking to your girlfriend about this until you’ve arrived at some sort of decision. I don’t know your girlfriend, of course, but certain people might be upset by the idea of their significant other changing genders.
Good luck Jesse! Try to just live your life and not obsess over this. When the time is right you’ll know want to do. Please come back to us with any more questions you may have or to follow up.
Sincerely,
Philip for AlterHéros


About Philip Borden

Philip holds a baccalaureate in philosophy.

I enjoyed being involved with "Tell the experts" because I was looking for a way to help queer youth and I really enjoyed answering most of the questions so far. I feel I’m good at it and it feels good to help with people’s problems.