30 septembre 2006

I have strong feelings for an older man ?

I have strong feelings for an older man?
Lately I’ve been having these strong feelings for one of the teachers who work in my school. I never felt this way towards a teacher. It might sound weird but he gives me these looks and its obvious that he checks me out. But im not sure if i should say anything to him on how i feel. im a sophomore in high school and he has to be 25 years my senior. i know its wrong, but i do want to pursue a relationship. i always go to the gym [where he teaches] just to see him and he always looks at me and smiles. One time i was with my friend and he was looking at me and we were having a conversation then he called me beautiful. Theres something that attracts me to him maybe its his eyes or it could be something else. but im not sure. but could you please tell me what should i do.

sara rahmani

Hello Marie,

Thanks for writting to AlterHeroes.

I understand that you have recently become attracted to a teacher at your school. From your description, I see that you are torn by your feelings regarding this mutual attraction. He is at least 25 years older than you and you worry that the nature of any non-professional relationship with him would be considered wrong. Despite the age difference and the nature of your professional relationship as student and teacher you are interested in persuing an intimate or romantic relationship with him.

Your concerns are valid and carry both legal and emotional implications. Legally, the concern is whether or not the nature of a romantic relationship with someone older than you could be considered against the law. I advise you to consult your state legislation and the laws pretaining to such relationships. These laws vary between states and nations and are designed to protect its citizens. They carry penalties that both you and your teacher could face if a romantic and/or sexual relationship develops.

Emotionally, the possible outcomes of disclosing your feelings to your teacher vary and also carry consequences that you must weigh. You must consider both the potential drawbacks and advantages of disclosing your feelings to your teacher. Each school and local community is different and you must consider the potential effects of persuing such a relationship in your community.

I advise you to weigh all the emotional and legal implications of opening up to your teacher before doing so. Be patient in making this decision and consult anyone you can trust who could provide you with any further insight into the matter.