I hate love and dating – they’re boring!

Dear Maria,

I don’t believe this is a weird question at all; your point of view may or may not be affected by your previous dating experiences, but that put aside, there are 2 possibilities to your feelings:

1) You may feel what is described as ‘aromantic’, a.k.a. that you don’t feel any physical or emotional attraction for the same/opposite sex; this isn’t abnormal, maybe you just don’t see what people find so thrilling in romantic relationships, or emotions don’t string any vibrant cord in you while you’re dating. Love isn’t peculiarly stupid, but the way it has been forced upon each and everyone by society and its values can make falling in love-love very exhausting and in the end, seem quite futile. See how in 3/4 of movies, love is unconditional, immediate and irreversible: unlikely it would happen in real life so often, but it makes people wonder and hope for something too idealistic…

2) And this here is my cheesy moment of the day: the second possibility is that you probably haven’t found a person with whom anything real has sparked; what you’ve experienced up till now may not have been real love yet; because if what you feel while you’re with you ex-significant-other was boredom and the impression of losing time, that isn’t a good sign!

So what I’d humbly suggest would be two things; in any of the two cases I’ve mentioned above, try to date outside your normal range (whatever your normal is =D ); try something new, someone that’s your opposite or your double, someone from the other side of the world, someone that would be your personal challenge… and the 2nd thing is: if in the end you feel the same way, then there’s no reason for you to force yourself in doing something you hate. For some unfathomable reason society tends to frown upon those who wish to remain single, but hey, if it works for you, go for it!

Come back if you have any questions or clarifications if needed, I’ll be glad to help!


Sen for Alterheros

About Seynabou Thiam

Seynabou holds a baccalaureate in Litterature studies, as well as a baccalaureate in political science from Université de Montréal. In summer 2008, she completed an internship at the United Nations Development Programme.

I love to help people a lot, especially with questions dealing with sexuality, relationships, family issues and such… I’ve been told that I have quite an insight in discerning and solving problems, so I want to be able to use this gift and help those around me!

Leave a comment