25 septembre 2005

I can't figure out if I am Gay or Bi.

I think I am Gay, but I’m not completely sure, because there are still times when I am attracted to females, but very little of the time. Mostly I like guys. I have already had «experience» with both sexes, and I liked guys much more. I know I am not straight but I can’t figure out if I am Gay or Bi.

suzanne palardy

Hello Eric,

Sexual identity is not something that can always be put into neat categories. For many people identifying as gay is not so cut and dried and does not mean that they never have any feelings for the opposite gender. Most people identify with the predominant attraction, both emotional and sexual, that they feel. Sexual identity is also extremely personal and can only truly be decided upon by yourself. You seem to be clear that you are much more inclined towards men, which brings me to this question: are you afraid of identifying as gay? This is not to suggest that being bisexual means that you haven’t decided or that you are confused. Identifying as bisexual is as legitimate as deciding that you are gay. It’s just that you seem to know who you are primarily attracted to and yet you are still questioning. Perhaps giving yourself a little more time and experience will help make things clearer to you.

Thank you for writing and good luck on your journey of discovery.