How do I control my sadism?
hi I would say I’m a pretty evil kid and I’m legally a genius so most of the day I think of either inventing weapons or torture cause I’m also a sadist. and that could be a major problem in getting Jamie(a girl I like) to like me so could you tell me how to care and be nice.
I will first start by noticing you obviously take pride in your IQ, however, that isn’t what makes someone sadistic, or uncaring, or gets people to like you. I’m
concerned about your fascination with weapons. Do you have thoughts of hurting people? What extent are you going to to know you like torture? What kind of weapons are you thinking about making, and for what purpose?
Also, getting someone to like you has a lot of complications. Not because of your specified likes and dislikes, or who you are as a person, but why you want this girl to like you. Are you attracted to her? Do you think your personalities mesh well together? Is she nice to you? Is there something you see in her, that makes you think you can make her happy too?
There is no real trick or manipulation that works on everyone to make someone like you. It is a matter of attitude and connection. And depending on the person, their style and interests are quite powerful factors as well.
What makes you think she doesn’t like you? And if you have good intentions then you already possess the skills to be caring and nice. The idea that you don’t think you do, is what is worrisome.
There are also some cognitive behavior techniques you might benefit from. I think you sound like you feel detached, and alienated in a lot of ways. And that can be really hard to deal with. I hope writing it out helped. Maybe you could speak to a professional regarding your issues with your self-esteem and loneliness. Your use of the words “weapons” and “torture” show some signs of aggression you’re not
dealing with but are aware of. It would be good to get that examined further.
What it is about violence that attracts you? It must be hard spending so much time invested in that, instead of other activities that might help your self-esteem. After-school activities, or group events and community programs can help introduce you to other people and that would help them relate to you, and vice versa, you to them, so you share common interests. This way when you begin to like someone again, it’s someone you already share a connection with. Communication is
really important, and understanding someone else’s needs and being comfortable knowing that getting close to someone is a delicate balance between two people. How she feels matters too. You can try talking to her, to see if you have that connection, and if she also wants to pursue something with you. Or just try to be friends. That will build a foundation, and give you both time to decide what you
want from each other. And you can have time to help yourself in the meanwhile.
I’ve added some information if you have trouble finding some guidance from professionals. Ask for help at your school, or from your parents (whom you should speak to about your thoughts and feelings because they should be involved and aware, so you can find a healthy outlet for your feelings and interests with the support you deserve from them).
National Youth Crisis Hotline 1-800-448-4663
Children and adolescents in crisis will receive immediate help.
Referrals to shelters, mental health services, sexual abuse treatment,
substance abuse, family counseling, residential care, adoption/foster
Thank you for writing in.