Am I bi? I like both gay and straight porn.


Hello Rolando,

Thank you for your question.

I understand that you are confused by your feeling do I like girls or guys.. well at 15 years of age you are in a period we call sexual maturation, your body is still growing and so is your brain. Sexual function usually starts in boys between the ages of 11 and 13, so your body and brain are still right in the middle of that developmental period.

What’s important is to give yourself, your body and brain the time to develop, perhaps you may be bi-sexual, where you like both females and males equally, or you may be homosexual where you like just males, or you may be heterosexual where you like just females, or you may decide not to define your sexuality because you may like the relationship aspect with a female but still like having sex with males. Whatever happens only you know your true sexual orientation, you can choose how you represent your sexuality, but sexual orientation is not something you can control.

I understand you watch and enjoy pornography, many teenagers and adults do. What you have to remember is that pornography is a representation of real life, a fantasy, just like Hollywood films are a representation of life, they are not reality. The people in these films look like they are enjoying themselves but it's important to realize that these people are doing a job, and that just like in any video, film or media product, everything is done so that it looks good, clean and pleasant for the actors/participants, so that the audience, you who watch the porn, gets excited and want to watch more. Unfortunately many of the porn actors and models in these videos take narcotics and prescription drugs like Viagra or poppers (alkyl nitrites) or others that permit them to be more sexually active under difficult conditions, for longer periods, and to experience less pain during intercourse.

Some of the videos are filmed in countries like Eastern Europe & small Asian countries where poverty is present and where drug lords, pimps or the mafia control the porn industry, where vulnerable and susceptible young people are often taken advantage of, or have to sell their bodies, or do prostitution to survive. They are often not treated according to human rights laws, labor laws, etc.

Having a relationship with someone that includes sex, is different than pornography, you may be disappointed about the sex you have with someone if you base your thinking and your wishes only on what you have seen in porn videos.

So just take it easy, socialize with girls and guys. You might want to say you’re bi, as many youth do who are not sure of what they like; it's a safe in-between. Give yourself time to discover your sexuality. Be safe and always have a condom around, like in your locker, in your school bag and in your sleep over kit with your toothbrush. Because sex happens often when you don't expect it. You may be at a sleepover or camping with some friends or at a party somewhere, so just be ready and have protection. Just enjoy yourself and your sexual orientation will be much clearer to you probably within the next few months.

JP for the AlterHeros Team


About JP Duc

JP has over 10 years of experience working with GLBTIQ youth organizations. He has been also a dedicated volunteer for over 16 major events including conferences & social functions for the gay community in Montreal. He also has done studies in creative arts, audio-visual and communication.

I enjoy challenging myself to find interesting ways of transmitting unbiased and practical information/solutions to common problems teenagers, and gay people face concerning sexuality. Seeing feedback from our visitors in the guestbook proves to me that a need exists for AlterHeros services and the thousands of volunteer hours that go into this organisation are appreciated by people from all over the world.

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