Am I attracted to my female friends or is my wetness from something else?


Hi Elliot,

Thanks for submitting your question to Alterheros. It sounds like you’re going through a difficult situation. There are a few things to consider.

First off, no one has the right to tell you what your sexuality or sexual identity is, nor can they tell you what you should do or should not do. People say many things based on stereotypes- which are assumptions that people make about groups of people. Just because someone else thinks or says you look/act or talk like you are gay, does not mean you are! People don’t know everything about each others lives, desires, dislikes etc,- sexuality is no exception. They may only assume things about you based on a limited amount of information.

Secondly, you say you are attracted to a couple of your friends but only their personality, not sexually. If this is the case, then chances are you may like them as friends-not as romantic partners. Romance has a lot of parts to it- physical, emotional and mental attraction. For the most part, these are all essential to have in order to be romantically attracted to someone.

For example, you are absolutely right – having large breasts and bottom does not necessarily create attraction. People are attracted to one another for many reasons – physical looks being only one of these reasons.

Also, the wetness you’ve been experiencing may not be from becoming aroused around your friends. Since you say you are not sexually attracted to them, this might be something to think about. Vaginal discharge (what we call the wetness you’ve been is having) is normal and can come out differently for every person- it is not necessarily associated with sexual arousal. Vaginal discharge is the way your vagina naturally cleans itself. However, if the wetness smells bad, or is a funny color, or you’re feeling itchiness or pain, you should definitely check it out with a doctor.

lastly, you mentioned you have a boyfriend currently. I would ask yourself if you are happy and feel healthy with your current relationship. It’s better to focus on the specific person at hand that you like, rather than their sex or sexuality.

Hope that helps! Please don’t hesitate to ask again if you have any other questions.

For Alterheros,

Evelyn


About Evelyn Kuang

Evelyn holds a BA in Psychology, Sexual Diversity Studies, and Social Studies of Medicine. She also has work experience in Women’s Healthcare, and Sexual Healthcare Clinic. She was also an intern at a Alcohol and Substance Abuse Recovery program. In 2008, she was part of the organizers for Vagina Monologues College Campaign @ McGill.

I love counseling, education and debunking myths. I’m very passionate about sexual healthcare and seek to change the way we think, tolerate and perceive sexuality in all its facets.

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