#sexual orientation
25 October 2018

I don't know if I'm bisexual. What are the signs?!


I don’t know if I’m bisexual. What are the signs?!
Hi Abisha,
First of all, thanks for reaching out to AlterHéros with your question. Many people face similar questions as you during their lives and it’s totally normal. While some people have known their sexual orientation their whole lives and feel that it doesn’t change, others feel that it changes with time. This is because sexual orientation is something fluid and not static; it can change with time, in different situations, or with new friends. Opening up your mind to new possibilities concerning your orientation is great, it helps you to know yourself and your desires ! 🙂
The definition of bisexuality is expressing sexual and/or emotional connection and attraction towards both female and male genders. Some people will also identify as pansexual, because they feel they can feel attraction towards any genders (woman, man and also non-binary people). Others identify as ”bi-curious”. This is when someone feels mostly heterosexual or mostly homosexual, but can have some sexual/romantic attraction for the other (or same) gender partners or are simply curious about exploring their potential bisexuality. Most bisexual, pansexual and bi-curious  people feel like they connect with a person for their personality more than their gender. But inthe end, our sexual/romantic orientation is truly personal; That means you are the only one who can define it and choose the words that you are comfortable with.
To answer your main question, ”signs” of being bisexual (or any other sexuality) can be very vague and individual to each person. It is important to listen your feelings, your limits and your needs. You have the liberty to choose which kind of experiences you would like to experience, which people according to their gender identity you would like to enjoy these kind of experiences with. and choose people you trust and feel comfortable with. Experimenting and listening deeply to your needs and feelings will help you find your own answers to this question.
You could also talk about this to other people of the LGBTQ+ community that answer these questions everyday. There are organizations in Montreal like AlterHéros but also Project 10, Head and Hands, Rock Camp for Girls or Jeunes Queer Youth… If you feel that you need to talk directly to someone, you can call the Project 10 organization at their Listening Line : 514-989-4585 or even set up an in person appointment. They offer an anonymous listening line that you can reach on Tuesday between 12 and 6 pm, and on Thursday between 1 to 6 pm. You can also reach out to trustworthy friends and family if you feel comfortable with them.
Knowing that sexuality is something fluid, it’s completely okay to take time to listen to your desires and explore them. Take the time and know that even if you feel this way now, doesn’t mean it cannot change or become more clear with time.
Feel free to writeback if you have any other questions and comments.