27 February 2011

I am aroused by pictures of female genitals, is it normal ?

I’ve considered myself heterosexual all my life.I had and still have romantic and sexual attraction towards particular men.However, there is one thing that is haunting me, namely I am able to be genitally aroused by the pictures of both male and female genitals.I began to masturbate when I was 5 or 6. When I was 8 or 9, I used to masturbate while looking at playboy pics, which was the only sexual thing in my environment at that time. I remember I used to fantasize about myself being one of those women posing for men; these fantasies accompanied masturbation as well. Now, as I am older, I don’t react in that way anymore.However, I noticed that I am still able to be aroused by the pictures of female genitals. I tried to imagine myself having sex with a woman, but it simply doesn’t appeal to me. Am I bisexual because of this arousal? Can I still name myself heterosexual? Or maybe it arouses me because I associate it with oral sex performed on woman(I’m virgin and use porn to masturbate)?

Hillary Greer

Hi Maria,

From what I understand you are confused by the fact that you can be sexually aroused by both male and female bodies (this has been happening to varying degrees over your lifetime), but you do not want to have sex with women. Now you are wondering if this means that you are bisexual and can no longer name yourself heterosexual.

I understand that this can be a confusing and overwhelming question to be asking yourself. I think it’s important to consider that nobody can ever legitimately tell you what to label yourself. So what it comes down to first and foremost is how you feel. Also, you in no way ever need to give yourself and your sexuality a label. If giving a name to your sexuality is important to you, you can decide to remain fluid in your labels (meaning maybe right now you are heterosexual, but that maybe in a few months you will be comfortable labelling yourself bisexual or any other term you’d be comfortable with), or you could even create your own new label that fits exactly how you feel.

You mention that you wonder if your arousal by images of female genitals might be associated with excitement related to oral sex performed on women. This is possible, as it is also possible that you associate these images with something else arousing. You might also find these images of female genitals to be beautiful and sexy, but for you this does not necessarily mean that you want to have sex with a woman, or be romantically involved in any way with a woman. Being aroused sexually by something, anything, does not need to represent or be directly linked with any sexual acts that you desire to perform or in reality. Sexual fantasies do not need to play any role in how you live your sexual life with a partner and therefore do not need to determine what label you chose for yourself. You have the freedom to choose what you want.

I hope that this has been helpful to you Maria. Please come back with any more questions you might have!

Hillary, for Alterheros.