1 March 2003
Testimony - Why Me?
If there is one question which most gay men probably ask themselves the most is the ‘why me?’ question. At first, its always like hey, wait a minute I want to have kids, I want to be a family man, Why can’t I be that? why should I be…
If there is one question which most gay men probably ask themselves the most is the ‘why me?’ question. At first, its always like hey, wait a minute I want to have kids, I want to be a family man, Why can’t I be that? why should I be…you dont want to say it,..or why should I be the G*y one..you still can’t bring yourself to say it…and finally there will come this day when you will stand infront of your mirror after all your denial, all your depression and say it..’I am Gay!’. And boy that is the real ‘independence day”..that is when it all becomes la la la la la..though being gay is not just being la la la la!
But the good thing about asking the ‘why me’ question is that once you have accepted that you like men, and you’re gay, you realise that it is not so bad after all, nothing in your life has change, you are still the same person, the only difference is that you’ve accepted that you are different in your sexual preference. I did ask myself that question. But one day i asked myself another interesting question, if I had the chance to turn back time and if I had the power to control my existence, would I ever consider to be straight or still say ‘no’; I still want to be gay! Amazingly I realised that I actually like being gay, and wouldnt trade it all even if I had the chance to. I just smiled to myself and said ‘oh boy..the ‘why me’ question has turned into Thank God its me!.
Yet we all know that being gay can be painful sometimes, the depression, the loneliness, the prejudice and the intolerance..they are not very nice things in our lives, but then its probably all worth it. The fact that you are judged, makes you a bit more self concious, in the sense that you appreciate yourself for who you are, you value your presence and you become proud not only as a gay man but as a human being. This may sound stupid, in many ways, but looking back at it now, you actually realise that if most gay men have a chance for a second coming, they would probably still prefer to be gay. With no doubt, being heterosexual is so much more easier, why then do we still want to go down the difficult road? And please dont get me wrong cause we all know that being gay is not ‘a choice!’. Being gay is a sexual orientation which comes with a whole lot of things, some of them pleasant and some very very unpleasant; however the whole lot of trouble we have to go through, the fun of just being who we are makes it worthwhile to say ‘Thank God its me!’