#crush on friend
1 January 2010

Should I tell these girls I like them?

Well hello!
I’m a 13 year old bi-sexual girl. I really have no problem with being bi, and my friends dont either.
Well to get to the point, I have this HUGE crush on this lesbian girl i go to cadets with but I dont know how she feels about me.
Last time we talked about it, she had a girlfriend but they didnt go to the same school and hadent seen eachother a whole lot lately (that was almost 2 months ago) and she likes this other girl that’s straight, and is my age. (the girl i like is 15) But when we went to this summer camp (cadets) she kinda flirted with me. And at night it was SOO cold usualy we’d all sleep 2 in a bed and she’d always want me to sleep with her ^.^. and this is before i KNEW i was bi, well i kinda did but i didnt admit it quite then.
Anyway, but theres also my friend from school that i really like but she’s (so far) straight. Almost the same situation. She flirts a lot, not just with me though. I really like both of them but i dont know if i should tell them, or what.

Hillary Greer

Hi Tega, thanks for writing to Alterheros with your question.

Telling someone that you have a crush on them is always a pretty intimidating and scary thing to do! The fact that you are crushing on girls that may or may not like other girls definitely adds to the stress and confusion. It’s really great that you are so open and accepting of your own sexuality though, Tega. It seems like you have a pretty great support group around you, which can only make life easier!

You say that you like two different girls now, both of them flirt with you, but only one of them is interested in women as far as you know. You are wondering if you should tell them about your feelings for them, or just forget about it. First of all, do either of these girls know that you are bisexual? If not, it might be interesting to come out to them first and see their reaction. As long as their reaction is a positive one, then I don’t see a problem with you being honest about your feelings for them. If they are your friends then they will hopefully stick around with you even if they don’t reciprocate your feelings. Friendships (just like any relationship) are most often built on trust and honesty. So I believe you should be honest with your friends about how you feel about them. If you decide to do this though, you will need to be prepared for any kind of reaction. Yes, they may feel the same way for you, but they may also get freaked out and not want to talk to you anymore. Only you can decide if that is something you can handle.

Of course this takes a lot of courage and is all easier said than done. However, in my opinion, if you want something to happen you need to act! You can’t expect life to happen to you, you need to participate.

Good luck Tega! Don’t hesitate to come back to Alterheros with more questions.

Hillary, for Alterheros