6 July 2005

Religion and sexual orientation

To whom it may concern,
I am currently in a bisexual relationship and am not sure about whether that is exactly “right” or not. I have started getting various things on both sides. I am not sure about either one. I am a christian but, I truly love this girl, even if she is bisexual and would like to be with her. However I do not want to interfere with my faith. Can you help me find out if it is okay to be in this relationship?
Thanks, Dave


Hi Dave,

It’s true that there are many conflicting ideas about homosexuality and bisexuality in the world. It is sometimes hard to make sense of it all! Here are some ideas that might help you make sense of things…

Bisexuality, homosexuality and heterosexuality are simply 3 different sexual orientations and are all valid. You can find gay, lesbian and bisexual people in every country of the world and all throughout history. We even find homosexuality and bisexuality in the animal kingdom. People don’t choose to be bisexual any more than they would choose to be heterosexual, and so I would encourage you to accept and respect all parts of your partner – including her sexual orientation. Bisexual people are just as capable of having loving and committed relationships as other people. It is difficult not to be affected by the myths and prejudices all around us. Sometimes religion can conflict with our ideas about people. Many gay, lesbian and bisexual people are able to reconcile these differences and are able to maintain their faith while respecting and accepting differences. It is my understanding that religions, including Christianity encourage people to love, accept and respect all human beings. I would encourage you to keep thinking about these issues, keeping in mind all the things you know and love about your partner.

Best wishes,

Sarah for AlterHeros

Another answer

Dave, you have asked a good question, however but the answer may not be what you want to hear.

When it comes to human sexuality, their there is no “right” or “wrong” write or wrong answer. Sexuality is something that you feel within yourself. And religion, the messages in the media and our environment influence our judgment of “right” or “wrong”.

When it comes to your sexual orientation, whatever feels right to you is “right”. You should live according to what you feel is right. And remember that you sexual orientation may change during your lifetime, and you may find yourself more attracted to the opposite sex, to the same sex or to both.

Religion serves as a framework for its followers, providing established norms, which dictate “right” and “wrong”. Post September 11th, we know that the message of the Quran is one of peace and equality, serving as the basis for many Islamic societies in which women are respected, active members. But unfortunately, in some Islamic societies, radicals came into power, controlling and dictating the interpretation of the message in the Quran. This has given rise to extremist groups who commit acts of terrorism based on a skewed interpretation of the Muslim faith.

This is an example of what can happen when a belief system goes array. Major religions in North America, including Christianity, are based on writings from thousands of years ago and are unaffected by scientific and technological advances made since then.

It is important to learn about different religions and remain open to different belief systems. Not one society, and not one religion can ultimately dictate “right” or “wrong”.

All the best,