Hi Alexis,

Thank you for your question. I am sure you are not the only one asking yourself these questions and having these insecurities about your body and its attractiveness. By asking this question, you are also helping others who might have been too afraid or ashamed to ask.

If I understood your question correctly, you are wondering whether it is normal to have nipples that might look slightly flatter. First, developing nipples that are flatter is part of the Tanner stages of puberty (a medical classification for the different phases your body goes through during adolescence). It actually means your body is maturing and getting to the last Tanner stage, the one referring to a adult body.

If this is the case I can reassure you it is normal. The shape of your nipples and breasts is not dependent on your weight, though as you gain weight, the size of your breasts may change slightly. The shape of your nipples/breasts is the result of normal maturation and of genetic influences.

As for your vulva, it is very common that one of the labia minora is different from the other. You can compare that to any other parts of the body. For example, most individuals have a slight difference in the shape and size of their ears, feet, legs or arms. This is completely within the normal range.

Finally, concerning your mole, it is difficult to determine whether this can be dangerous or not. In fact, some individuals may have a completely benign mole on their vulva, while others may be predisposed to skin cancer (melanoma) because of it. I suggest you go see a gynaecologist to make sure it is a benign lesion. Although sexual preferences are variable, I would have to say that someone truly attracted to you and/or someone who truly loves you will in most likelihood disregard any small imperfections (or physical characteristics you deem imperfect). There are many factors determining sexual attraction, not the least of which is your personality and the chemistry between you and another person. Sometimes in our body-focused culture, there is too much emphasis on looks alone, and we forget that the true way to maintain a relationship is trust, as well as common interests and values.

In conclusion, I hope you will learn to accept yourself just the way you are, as this is the first step to having someone give you the same respect and love. Please feel free to write to us again if you have any other questions!

Karine, for Alterheroes