3 May 2005

I think I'm bisexual but I'm not sure

My name is Erin, I think I’m bisexual but I’m not sure. I mean I think guys are hot and all that, but I really like girls. I don’t think I would ever be able to be sexually involved with a guy… I don’t know I just really confused right now. I don’t know what to think am I a Lesbian or what. I have come out as Bisexual to my mum and all my friends. But I’m afraid if I finally tell myself that I’m Lesbian something terrible will happen with my family. my dad makes these really bad comments about my uncle being Gay and I don’t want him to start on me about that. I’m afraid he will hate me and not want me around. but what if I’m not any of these thing what if I’m just imagining it. But then again I can’t be I just feel so attracted to women. I’m scared. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to disappoint my family but I want to be happy too. I just don’t know I mean I feel ok being out like I am, and my friends are really supportive about it. I mean most of them don’t want to talk about it but they’re ok with it. How will I know what I need? How will I ever talk to my dad about all this? I want to be with girls not guys but I still think they’re hot and all that just; I wouldn’t be with them I don’t think… I just keep thinking thing like this and I get nowhere cause they just cycle around in my head. I need some advice. I think I comes down to I just want to be loved by someone whoever it may be. But it’s so complicated and I don’t want it to be.

Équipe -Pose ta question!-

Dear Erin,

First thing’s first, no matter at what age we come out, we are always unsure and dare i say, scared that it will be the proverbial cheery on the rotten cake that shuts us off from our loved ones and friends. Being attracted to someone of the same gender as you isn’t shameful or a lesser option, it’s simply one of a few ways humans are attracted to one another. As far as coming out as a lesbian, why not wait till the picture is clear for you and that you feel comfortable with the topic and yourself …. there’s really no rush.

Erin, i certainly do hear what you’re saying and i guess there’s no totally easy way with this but it can be made smoother by joining or at least going to support groups in your age bracket. Such an organization is called ‘Project 10’ and is really good for LGBT youth and those such as yourself who are questioning their orientation.

Begin slowly and discover who it is exactly that you are attracted to, women or men or even both. Either way, we are not defined by who we love but rather by our actions in life and that is mostly how others will judge us. So, just be yourself and get support from the orgs mentioned above or through friends.

Alterhéros is by and far a great organization to learn much and maybe even make good contacts … you’re on the right track.