I think I am in love with my best friend

MY BEST FRIEND DOES KIND KNOW I HAVE FEELING FOR HIM AND SHOULD I JUST TELL HIM HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT HIM? YES HE WANT KIDS BAD BUT HIS BOYFRIEND THAT HE’S BEEN WITH FOR 4 YEARS NOW,HE HATE KIDS SO WHAT WILL HAPPEN, DO YOU KNOW IF HE WILL LEAVE HIS BOYFRIEND TO HAVE KIDS? I REALLY DONT UNDERSTAND MY BEST FRIEND, HE TELL OH I DONT WANT A BOYFRIEND CAUSE HE WANT TO BE FREE BUT HE DOES NOT LEAVE CAUSE HIS BOYFRIEND WORK AND PAY FOR HIS 2005 CAR AND EVERYTHING FOR HIM AND IS THAT WRONG? SOMETIMES I WISH MY BEST FRIEND JUST LEAVE HIS BOYFRIEND AND BE WITH ME BUT NOT IN A PASSION WAY? I JUST CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM AND I KNOW HE WILL AWAYS BE GAY CAUSE HE WILL ALWAYS TALK ABOUT MENS ALL THE TIME AND MY BEST FRIEND IS ONE OF THOSE GUY WHO HAS ALL THESE GIRLFRIENDS AND HE WILL GO SHOPPING AND DO YOUR MAKEUP AND HAIR FOR YOU. I FEEL HALF OF ME IS DEAD CAUSE I WANT HIM SO BAD AND IT JUST HURT ME AND SO SHOULD I TALK TO HIM MORE ABOUT MY FEELING TO HIM? THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME.

François Paquette

Hi Trichelle !

Thanks for writing back to AlterHéros. For the question about future kids, that depends on what’s the most important thing for your boyfriend. It depends if for him, his couple is more important than having a baby, or having a baby is more important than staying in a relationship. Don’t forget that he may consider having kids in the future, but for the moment he prefers staying in this relationship even if his boyfriend doesn’t want kids.

But, he depends very much on his boyfriend if he is paying for everything. But is this totally wrong ? If everyone (including his boyfriend) is ok with the situation… but in a long term way, your friends can not make balanced decisions, because he depends financially on his boyfriend. Another time, if his car or other material things are more important for him than freedom…

In the past years, while you were attracted by this friend, have you tried having another relationship ? Sometimes, to forget someone, it is easier when you meet other people. Not the first guy you see, but trying to find another boyfriend may slow down your feelings for your friend. But, it is possible that he will always be in your heart : sometimes, you can love deeply a person for the rest of your life, but this person will always be your friend.

You can always write back to AlterHéros if you want !

Thanks,

François, for AlterHéros