6 April 2006

I am to shy to talk to others and I don't know what to do !

Hi, I recently move to ottawa and I have yet to make any friends. I have also recently come to understand that I am a lesbian. I am a native and came from a very small community so coming out would be very hard for me since everyone back home will definately know no matter who I tell. School is definately a nightmare for me since a) I am gay b) I am one of the very few aboriginal students in the entire school and c) No one in the school has taken the time to talk to me. This is all very depressing for me. It makes my life harder than it already is. In my school I am already labelled as a shy person that is basically a loser. But since no one has talked to me no one knows that i am really a great person well so all my friends say. I don’t tell my friends back home how my life is here and I am not really sure why. can you please help me out with this?

sabrina prégent

Hi Amber,

Moving to another town is never easy. You have to find new friends and it is difficult, especially when you are shy or not confident. It often takes time since people enough know you and you enough know them to become friends. You will surely make at least one new friend at school or in your neighbourhood before the end of the summer. However, I understand that it can be very difficult to don’t have friends in Ottawa now. It is a shame that no one has take the time to talk to you and then discovered that you are great but if you give them a little bit of time and a second chance, there is probably someone that will come to you to know you a little more. When you are new at school, it can take time before other student talk to you but after few weeks, they will see you like another student and no more like “the new one”.

In your message, you write that you think they labelled you as a shy person (so as a loser?!). Had you try to prove them they are mistaken? Okay, the other students didn’t take the time to talk to you but did you try to talk to somebody? If not, maybe they think the same thing as you, that you dont want to talk to them.

Do you know if there is something like a native organization at Ottawa? If you dont know, there is The Odawa Native Friendship Centre (www.odawa.on.ca/home.htm) that is a non-profit organization. There are a lot of services and programs for people of all ages. There are recreation activities (like a volleyball league, Annual Arts Auction, bowling and a golf league), youth support, employment training and referral and counselling referrals. If you go to this organization’s activities, you will probably meet other teens in the same situation as you. There is probably an organization that provide services like drop-ins/discussion groups to young homosexual people.You can also subscribe to different activities and project that take place in Ottawa. It sure you will meet teens and maybe some of them will go to your school. If you want to have new friends in your school you can participate in some school’s committees like environment committee or school’s newspaper. You can also participate to activities that take place in your school like sports. Another way to meet new people is to become an volunteer in an organization.

Like you saw, there are several ways to meet people and to make new friends. If you continue to wait that people come to talk to you, it can take few weeks again. Go out of your house, go to the park, to the shopping center or to the cinema. When you go out where there are people, you have bigger chance to meet people than if you wait that they come.

Sabrina, AlterHeros