13 July 2005

Am I bicurious or bisexual?

hi: i think im a bisexual, but i didn’t “experience” with any girls yet. But i feel like if i did, i would like it? So, am i bi curious ir bisexual?


Hi Sarah!

To have experience or not sexually with someone of our gender is not necessarily the greatest way to determine someone’s sexual orientation. Just suppose you have a 17 year old boy. This boy is not attracted to girls at all, he’s really into other boys but he’s never “experienced” with one yet. Does that mean he’s not officially gay even though the boy feels like it deep inside of him? The answer is no, you don’t have to sleep with someone to know if you’re a gay, a lesbian or a bisexual.

Sexual attraction is something very deep that goes beyond the sexual act in itself. If you’re sure that you’re attracted by both boys and girls, then you can choose to define yourself as bisexual. You don’t necessarily have to sleep with a girl to convince yourself of that fact. But then again, it depends on how you see yourself, you think that you’re bisexual but you seem uncertain about it. In that case, I would encourage you to explore and find out by yourself by meeting other girls.

You can try to talk with bisexual girls (if you know any) who are willing to share their experience with you so that you can know how they feel as bisexuals. You can also search for community groups for bisexuals in your area. These kinds of groups usually provide information and support for people in search like you. In closing, I want to remind you that you are the best person to know how to define yourself !

I want to wish you the best of luck with your exploration. I hope you’ll be able to find yourself personally and be happy. If other questions come up to your mind, feel free to write us again!