19 May 2005

Am I bisexual?

I’m confused about my sexuality you see I like girls but I also have liked guys, but not in a relationship kind of way. I just like there bodies and sometimes I wish I had a body like that, is it just jealousy I’m feeling? Another thing, a friend who is bisexual wants to give me oral, but he just wanted to do it for fun and pleasure nothing serious and I said yes, I’m so stupid I think. Should I do this and experiment? I am also worried that if I do it, it may change my sexual preference for ever. I can choose not to do it, it’s just oral not anal or anything like that… I also thought and heard that teens usually experiment with this kind of stuff, but I’m really confused about my sexuality. I still like chicks and would love to have sex with one and I love to get romantic with them and that type of stuff but could never be romantic with a guy or have that type of relationship.
Please help me!!!!


Hi Soz,

I sometimes find it difficult to answer these questions, because I have other questions I’d like to ask you, before I give my answer…….BUT, I have still have something for you to think about, this will probably be a LONG answer……

Labels and all the stereotypes that come with them are used by society to categorize people, which is sometimes useful, but other times a pain in the ass. You should identify anyway you choose, and you should act as you feel at the moment, you always have a choice.

“If you find male bodies attractive”: it could be that you envy them and wish to have that body as well. It could also be that you’re attracted to men. You also have some strong feelings for women, and would like to have a relationship with a female. You could be bisexual. You could also just be curious and wanting to experiment, like you said, a very common thing among youth who are discovering their sexuality.

As for feeling stupid about having your bisexual friend perform oral sex on you, don’t be so hard on yourself. Sometimes you need to try something to know whether or not it is for you. However, if you haven’t already done so, you should start educating yourself about safer sex. Sexually active people need to know their facts!

Alright, so there you have it. In my opinion you have nothing to worry about. Stop feeling stupid and do what feels right to you. If you are bisexual, there is nothing wrong with you. If you want to experiment to help you decide what is best for you, go ahead, just be safe. And don’t worry about making your decision today or tomorrow, you have time and you can always change your mind. No one can force you to be something you are not.

One last thing…… It’s always good to be able to talk to someone about these things, so if you can find a friend, or a family member that you trust and won’t freak out or anything, it can help. If not, write us back with more questions!