Am I a lesbian?


I’ve never had a crush on a guy or a girl but I’ve found myself more attracted to girls. Does that mean I’m lesbian. I really only see guys as my friends.
A
Hi A,
Thank you for confiding in AlterHeros, we’ll answer you the best we can. You’ve never had a crush, either on a guy or on a girl but you do find yourself more attracted to girls. First off, no, this doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian. Now knowing that I have no information on your age, it may be that you haven’t gotten to that stage of your sexual awakening. It may also mean that you simply haven’t found someone, guy or girl, that interests you on a more romantic or sexual level.
Other reasons come to mind as to why women might seem more attractive. In occidental societies (Canada, USA, Western Europe), the feminine body is usually quite prominent in publicities and these usually contain some type of sexual innuendo. So whether we really realize it or not, our attraction can be influenced by this, simply because we’re overwhelmed by the constant images of women dressed in sexy manners. What do you think about that?
As for seeing guys only as friends and not possible romantic interests, that can also be related to multiple factors. Do you find that you have more common interests with them then with the women around you? Do you get along with them more easily? Men and women do have a different mindset and they do view things differently. If your visions seem to agree more with men than women, then it may be easier to get along with them. This doesn’t mean that you may not find a guy attractive on a romantic level. Maybe it’s that you haven’t met this person yet. What does this bring to mind for you?
As for wondering if you’re lesbian or not, here’s something maybe you can think about. First off, what is a crush for you? What does it mean exactly and what do you think it implies? When you think about romantic interest, what comes to mind? Do you think about physical attraction first? Personality? Certain specific characteristics, such as eyes, hair, mouth, etc.? A lot of people also prefer not to categorize themselves, meaning identifying as straight, gay, lesbian or other. What do you think about that?
The suggestion I make is to not over analyze what you’re going through. This could lead to stress, anxiety, nervousness and plenty of other emotions that can be very difficult to handle even on a short term period. Otherwise, don’t be afraid to be yourself and enjoy the company of those around you, even if just as friends. You may find that at some time, somebody, no matter the gender they associate to, will attract you in a completely different way than friendship.
If you have other questions, please don’t hesitate to write again, we will always be there to answer you.
Sincerely,
Tamara

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