Tag: lot


I think I have sadism, gender, sexuality issues

I think I may be having gender, sexuality and sadism issues. Where gender is concerned, I'm biologically female. However, I completely loathe the idea of anyone perceiving me as such, but I know there's no way for me to be male and I don't want to be one. I'd prefer to be neither or both. And I'm not attracted to men or women- but I am really attracted to the idea of them being hurt, sexually or otherwise. Whenever I hear that some young, promising person has committed suicide, or a very loved child has been murdered, it really excites me, until I realize how disgusting that is and I don't know what to do. Part of the reason why I don't want to be perceived as female is because they are perceived as vulnerable- I like that on other people but not me. I don't think any of this is right. I have no romantic options like this, I would like them, but I just don't like other people. Am I sadistic + asexual or just messed up in the head? How can I accept it or change?


Am I androgynous or transsexual?

I’ve realized that I’m not stereotypically female, and don’t want to be. My vague masculinity and physical appearance have lead people to assuming I’m lesbian. I don’t feel a physical attraction to men or women, and know that I’m pansexual, but I don’t know whether I’m androgynous or not. I feel uncomfortable with my female body, but I’m not completely sure I should be male. I remember wanting to be a boy and believing I should’ve been as a kid. During high school, I felt reluctant to have the mistake the school made as labeling me male fixed. Recently, I’ve had the desire to bind my chest, and feel hesitant whenever I’m asked to identify my sex. When I have to, I want to say I’m male. I want to look masculine and have a flat chest, but not a penis. I don’t desire any kind of surgery beyond having my ovaries removed. I felt relieved learning of androgyny, but now I’m uncertain and scared. Am I really androgynous or actually transsexual?


I’m sure I’m attracted to men, but i’m repulsed by ...

Hi, I'm really confused. I'm a male, 19 years of age and I have always been attracted to men. I am a virgin and I'm not sexually active. The thought/sight of a man's penis does not arouse me in fact, I feel repulsed by it. What does this mean? Am I actually straight? Who should I talk to about all this? Surely by 19 I should have figured this out so that I can get on with my life! I'm sick of all this uncertainty.



Though we fight a lot and he seems to have ...

I have feelings for someone and I think I'm completely in love with this person. We are both good looking men, the only problem is we do fight a lot. I think I'm in love for the first time but this person confuses me a lot. We have never been intimate and i do get this feeling he has someone, his brother in law works with me and confirmed that he doesn't have anyone.I do work for a security firm in South Africa and asked him if he does have a Alarm system with us, seeing that I do have access to all clients i did my own search and came up with his residence but came across his boyfriends details.I saw a picture of him and this person on the internet hanging around a night club in Johannesburg. I did ask him about it and he was upset, his boyfriend told everyone on facebook that they going through a rough patch. He told me to leave him alone but now and then I do receive an sms or e-mail from him.@ times he will even dial my extension number to speak to his brother in-law. confused.


How can I tell my mom I’m transsexual while I’m ...

I want to come out to my mother as a transsexual. She knows I'm bisexual, but she's still doing the "it's just a phase" thing. Other than that, she seemed open enough about it, and overall accepts my sexuality. I want to tell her about this now, while I'm still young. I'm not sure if she'll be supportive. How can I tell her in a way that'll be easy for her, and maybe encourage her to support my decision?


I am in love with my lesbian friend !

im a 23 year old male & im in love with my lesbian friend!, she's 26 & been a lesbian for only 3 years, but in those 3 years she has been in the same relationship, & bought 2 houses with her partner. they are pretty well set up with eveything & have even been trying 2 have a baby together, however we often have conversations about their relationship & how she isnt 100% about it. we spend alot of time together & often get touchy feely, specially when we have had a few drinks. i cant stop thinking about her & honestly beleive she is my ferfect match. i dont know how to bring it up with her, without losing her completly & ruining what we have at the moment! any ideas would be helpfull.



I feel I am stuck in uncertainty, am I transgender ...

I identify enormously with the experiences and feeling of other transgender people. (the feelings being trapped in the wrong body, etc) But I'm unsure if I AM transgender. Are there any questions I can ask myself that would help me understand myself better? (besides 'am I transgender?' and 'Would I feel happier as a male?') (I am female bodied) I am sick of being stuck in uncertainty. Help?


I want an idyllic life but not being with this ...

I am a girl and I consider myself a heterosexual and have had several long term relationships with men and enjoyed them - i suddenly find myself in a relationship with a woman and am utterly confused - i find men attractive, don't look at other girls ever (find it gross) but feel really comfortable and happy with this girl. Am i bisexual or have i found my soulmate who just happens to be a bloody girl?? It is complicated by the fact that my choice of partner is tearing my family apart and here i am not even sure if i am really gay or going thru a phase? I really want the idyllic idea of wedding, husband, kids etc but the thought of leaving this girl tears me apart. I would like an answer from someone not emotionally involved.


I like feminine men and I’m not sure about my ...

Since I was about ten, I've wished I was born male. In the last couple of years that desire has got very strong. In any sexual fantasies and when I masturbate I always pretend I'm a guy. I feel strongly attracted to extremely feminine men, cross-dressers and guys who wear makeup etc. Sometimes I pretend I'm a guy on chatrooms and flirt a little with girls. Because of all this I considered that I might be a lesbian, but I don't feel anywhere near the attraction towards girls as I do towards males. I never look at a girl and think they are hot or sexy. Straight and lesbian porn doesn't really do anything for me; only some of the gay and "shemale" stuff. I love men who look and act like women. All these signs seem to be really contradicting and I'm so confused about both my sexuality (though I think I am probably straight) and especially my gender identity. It's a big part of what's been making me very depressed these last few months.



I was a tomboy. I admire girls. Am I straight ...

When I was a child, I was a tomboy. I had short hair and wore boys clothes and got teased a lot, usually called a "he-she". I simply liked short hair and loose clothes but as I got older I found myself curious about girls. I've always liked guys and have only dated and had sex with guys, but I look at and admire girls a lot. I used to look at girls only online because they turned me on and I thought that males, aside from their torsos, looked weird and even ugly. I dress, act, and look more feminine now, but also find that I'm fantasizing about girls and looking at girls more and even wishing I could try being with one. I do like and am used to guys though, and I get shy around girls even if they aren't bi or lesbian. I'm not sure if I truly am bi, because I'm not sure I would truly like to be with a girl in real life, and trying it scares me even though I also want to. Am I straight and this is just a phase, or should I try it? What should I do?