30 avril 2006

Will I be able to have a solid relationship ?

I am 16, I came out when I was 14 and at first I thought I was just Gay but since then I have come to the conclusion that I am actually Bisexual. However I can’t seem to accept that I am Bisexual instead of Gay even though all the signs are there, I like girls on an emotional and sexual level, but I only like guys on a sexual level, but sometimes my sexual feelings for men are just so much stronger than the female ones, I have been with both sexes and I enjoyed both of them. But I just don’t ever feel like I will be able to have a solid relationship with anyone because I will be lusting after the other sex. Why do I have such trouble accepting my own identity?

François Paquette

Hi Eric !

Thanks for your question.

You seem to have done a very big reflexion about your sexual orientation, and you now know more what you want – your sexual attraction for men, and sexual and emotionnal attraction for women.

Heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual people are confronted to the same problem as you : how can you have a solid relationship when there are plenty possibilities out there ?

There is not one answer to that question. For some people, monogamy is the best thing : you have a very intimate relationship with only one person, and no one else. There are homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual people who have chosen this option. That can be a little difficult, because we live in a very seductive world, but if it is your goal, you can do the efforts. And yes, there are bisexuals who are monogamous. They can be attracted to both sexes, but choose to be with one person at the time.

But, there are other people (of all sexual orientations) who don’t feel comfortable with the concept of monogamy. There are various types of «open» relationships, each one has its own rules.

You’re at the beginning of your sexual life, it may appear important for you to explore your sexuality. Also, you may have not met the «right person» for you… take your time !


François, for AlterHeros