1 février 2009

Should I break up with my boyfriend ?

Well I went out with my ex again for the 4th or 5th time. And I recently found out that he made out with my friend on New Year’s eve.
I asked him about it and he sad that he was drunk and he didn’t know what he was doing at the time. I had to find all this out from the girl he made out with. When I told him how I felt he said that I was making him feel bad.He didn’t care how I felt, and he is always telling other girls how pretty or nice they are. I just don’t think that he is happy with me anymore.
Also his ex has been trying to get at him for awhile now and I always think in the back of my mind that he still cares for her.
I just want to know how I should have reacted too this situation? And if I should break up with my boyfriend?

annabelle dupras

Hi Sally,

Thank you for your question.

As you probably know, in relationships we sometimes encounter situations that leave us quite confused, not sure of what to think or what to do. Those situations may be difficult to deal with, but in the end they teach us alot about what we really want in our lives, so in a sense, these questionnings serve an important purpose. That being said, it seems that you are unsure of what to make of your boyfriends behavior, and that you have some decisions to make.

You know Sally, I think only you are in the right position to indentify how you feel about your boyfriend’s actions, and therefore only you can decide how you should react to all of this. Maybe you can start by asking yourself these questions : What does this person mean to me? What are my values concerning love, faithfulness, honesty, respect? Does this person share these values? Do I feel respected, appreciated in this relationship? Would I or could I allow myself to behave in the same manner as does this person? Do I want to, and could I forgive the words or actions that have hurt my feelings?

As difficult as it is, the big challenge here may just be to be as honest as possible…to yourself. Sometimes, letting go of someone may seem harder or just as hurtfull than staying in a relationship that hurts us, so it is especially important that you pay attention to your gut feeling about what is really going on, and to make sure you are not causing yourself pain that is unecessary to your personnal growth. If you can clearly indentify how you feel about this guy, you will defnitely figure out more easily what next you should do. It’s not a simple task…so how about taking all the time needed to think things through?

Hoping this will help you,

take care and don’t hesitate to write again.

Anna at Alterheros