I’m unsure of my sexual orientation…


Dear Jan,

I can see that this can be confusing for you. Building a relationship with a man you plan on marrying and having physical attractions to women from time to time can generate doubt and anxiety. Even if you consider yourself “straight”, attracted to men, that doesn’t mean you cannot have attractions for someone of the same sex. Being straight or homosexual doesn’t rule out every other kind of attraction. You don’t have to be one or the other exclusively. On the other hand, having physical attraction for someone of the same sex doesn’t mean you are a lesbian.

This attraction could mean a lot of things. If you think there is more lying beneath or that this is something you need to explore, consider talking about it with your partner. If you don’t feel comfortable doing so, look deeper in yourself. Don’t be afraid of digging to find out what it is that you have been experiencing. It is very normal to doubt ourselves and once you figure it out it will only make you stronger. You will know yourself that much better.

You say that you are attracted, emotionally engager and in love with your partner. Those are key components for building a good relationship. Physical attractions can just be “physical”. Maybe it doesn’t go further than that, but that’s for you to find out.

Best wishes,

Andréanne, for AlterHeros.

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