I am scared of the reaction of my parents when I will announce my sexual orientation

Well I am only 13, but I am bisexual. I have done stuff with bith, girls and guys. I told my dad beofre that I was bisexual, and he just said that I was going though a stage. I know I wasn’t but I want to tell him again, and I want to tell my mom. I dont live with my mom, and it’s harder to tell her stuff than to tell my dad. My dad is more understanding than my mom. I’m just scared of what they will say and I dont know how to tell them. Also I have a girlfriend. please help me.

Dee Gamme

Hello and thanks for your question!

For starters, go ahead and tell your dad again, if you feel you need to do it a second time. It doesn’t sound like he had an awful reaction, so perhaps he would handle it alright if you reminded him adn told him that it isn’t a phase.

Does your dad know that you do ‘things’ with anybody, regardless if it’s a boy or a girl? As a father, he might not like to hear that, since you are quite young. This has nothing to do with the gender of the person you do these things with. It may just be his fatherly concern for you. In teenagehood, many things we do are seen as a phase in the eyes of parents, including who we choose to be intimate with, if we should chose to do so. Being a teenager is about trying new things and discovering who we are as we become our adult self. Some of those things we will continue to pursue in adult life, and others we will not. So i see why your father might think of this as a stage you’re going through. In a sense, it is. The only difference between the way your dad might see it and the way you might see it, is that your dad figures you will one day choose boys over girls. You don’t agree. And in the end, it is your choice. I’m not saying it WILL change, but it’s

possible it might. You may one day decide you only like boys. Or only girls. Or both, or something in between!

With that in mind, you may want to try saying something like that to your parents. As for breaking the news to your mother, well, yes, it may be harder to do since you don’t see her often. But if you reassure her you are being safe, and that you truly DO like both boys and girls, there is not much she can say or do about it.

She may be shocked at first, or angry, or try to blame herself for not being a better mother. But it isn’t about her. It’s about you. She might even say something similar to what your dad told you, that it is only a phase. In such a case, all you can do is continue reminding both your parents that you don’t believe it’s a phase. They will believe what they want to believe anyways, but you will always know your own truth.

I hope that gives you a few ideas, and feel free to contact us again if you need further assistance,

Dee, for Alterheros.