I am scared of the reaction of my parents when I will announce my sexual orientation

Hello and thanks for your question!

For starters, go ahead and tell your dad again, if you feel you need to do it a second time. It doesn’t sound like he had an awful reaction, so perhaps he would handle it alright if you reminded him adn told him that it isn’t a phase.

Does your dad know that you do ‘things’ with anybody, regardless if it’s a boy or a girl? As a father, he might not like to hear that, since you are quite young. This has nothing to do with the gender of the person you do these things with. It may just be his fatherly concern for you. In teenagehood, many things we do are seen as a phase in the eyes of parents, including who we choose to be intimate with, if we should chose to do so. Being a teenager is about trying new things and discovering who we are as we become our adult self. Some of those things we will continue to pursue in adult life, and others we will not. So i see why your father might think of this as a stage you’re going through. In a sense, it is. The only difference between the way your dad might see it and the way you might see it, is that your dad figures you will one day choose boys over girls. You don’t agree. And in the end, it is your choice. I’m not saying it WILL change, but it’s

possible it might. You may one day decide you only like boys. Or only girls. Or both, or something in between!

With that in mind, you may want to try saying something like that to your parents. As for breaking the news to your mother, well, yes, it may be harder to do since you don’t see her often. But if you reassure her you are being safe, and that you truly DO like both boys and girls, there is not much she can say or do about it.

She may be shocked at first, or angry, or try to blame herself for not being a better mother. But it isn’t about her. It’s about you. She might even say something similar to what your dad told you, that it is only a phase. In such a case, all you can do is continue reminding both your parents that you don’t believe it’s a phase. They will believe what they want to believe anyways, but you will always know your own truth.

I hope that gives you a few ideas, and feel free to contact us again if you need further assistance,

Dee, for Alterheros.

About Dee Gamme

Dee holds a baccalaureate in Fine Arts in Cinema (Specialization in Film Animation). She's also an event producer/promoter in the Queer community, mainly working with independent musicians and visual artists. Dee was a volunteer in the "Tell the experts" team for 2 years before being given the opportunity to become Outreach Director. Heading the Anglophone Team since early 2009 has been a great experience!

I like being involved at AlterHeros because it helps keep me in touch with the Queer community. I also love to help others and I am interested in psychology and coming out issues.

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