I am afraid of leaving my boyfriend, but I am attracted to girls...

I’m 16 and have had sex with a male but I never really enjoyed it. I have been told that my new boyfriend has alot of female qualities. I have always had a thing for girls but never really wanted to admit it. I have now but I am afraid to leave my boyfriend in case being with girls doesn’t work out. What do I do?


Hi Cynthia,

Having feeling for people of both sexes can bring confusion and can become overwhelming. If you have an attraction to girls and wish to pursue those feeling you have for girls, there is no reason why you cant do so. It isn’t a “once you cross over you can’t go back” type of decision. You have had more than one guy in your life so you could have more than one girl before you find the “right” person. You can date a person for their qualities, for the things that attract you to them regardless of the gender.

To make it worth your while you have to be sure of yourself and you have to invest yourself with the person to built a relationship. But if you want to seek answers, I suggest you look for them alone. You cant do both, have a boyfriend and trying to see if there is a potential with a girl. Be honest with him. You should be able to tell what you want after experiencing what it’s like to be with a girl. But remember that trying takes time and effort, a one time deal is often not enough.

Andréanne, for AlterHeros