He reacted well when I came out, but I still don’t know if he likes me romantically


Hi John,

Thanks for coming to us with your question. I'm so pleased to hear that we

helped you the first time you contacted us! I'll try my best to help you with your

new problem.

You seem to have fallen for a friend of yours and you're not sure how he feels about you. Based on his response, he definitely appreciates you as a friend and cares about you, which of course is a good thing! The problem is that he is unclear about whether he feels the way you feel about him, about you.

This is a pretty common scenario with friends. Though this type of situation can be

heartbreaking for one or even both of the parties involved, it can also sometimes

lead to wonderful and fulfilling romantic relationships. Most of all, it's important to

manage your expectations with regards to your love interest's reactions.

Right now you may not know if your friend wants to be more than friends and if so,

to what extent. If he is going to fall for you as well, you mustn't come on too strong. You need to be subtle or you may risk freaking him out about the whole thing. With that said, it would probably be best to attempt to initiate a dialogue about everything, sooner as opposed to later.

It's also important not to take it too personally if he decides that he doesn't

want that kind of relationship with you. Everyone is attracted to different things

physically, emotionally, etc. – his preferences don't reflect on you as a person. Either way, it sounds like you have a really good friend who cares about you and if things don't work out with him romantically, there's still plenty of fish in the sea. Good luck!

Sincerely,

Philip B. for Alterheros


About Philip Borden

Philip holds a baccalaureate in philosophy.

I enjoyed being involved with "Tell the experts" because I was looking for a way to help queer youth and I really enjoyed answering most of the questions so far. I feel I’m good at it and it feels good to help with people’s problems.

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