22 novembre 2010

He reacted well when I came out, but I still don't know if he likes me romantically

Hi, and first of all I must say that you helped me the first time! 😉 But now I have another prob! Long story short, I told my male friend that I like him and that I feel something more,I was ready for the worst and I even told him «If you don’t want to see me ever again I’ll leave you forever,I understand how u feel» (I cried bc I was afraid), and he responded on this «I would be a complete douchebag if I’d do something like that! I am never going to leave you alone»…Honestly I was shocked, so I repeated «I’ll give you some time to…» «No, no, I don’t have to think about it, I said it»…After, he told me that its courageous from me to tell him how I feel and that I should tell more people coz its bad to keep all in me. Idk, I’m now more confused! I don’t know what are his feelings,»never going to leave me?!» I think that he is afraid of relationships, and maybe he needs some time, but still… Please help me! And now when he knows the truth,I think I love him and need him even more.

Philip Borden

Hi John,

Thanks for coming to us with your question. I'm so pleased to hear that we

helped you the first time you contacted us! I'll try my best to help you with your

new problem.

You seem to have fallen for a friend of yours and you're not sure how he feels about you. Based on his response, he definitely appreciates you as a friend and cares about you, which of course is a good thing! The problem is that he is unclear about whether he feels the way you feel about him, about you.

This is a pretty common scenario with friends. Though this type of situation can be

heartbreaking for one or even both of the parties involved, it can also sometimes

lead to wonderful and fulfilling romantic relationships. Most of all, it's important to

manage your expectations with regards to your love interest's reactions.

Right now you may not know if your friend wants to be more than friends and if so,

to what extent. If he is going to fall for you as well, you mustn't come on too strong. You need to be subtle or you may risk freaking him out about the whole thing. With that said, it would probably be best to attempt to initiate a dialogue about everything, sooner as opposed to later.

It's also important not to take it too personally if he decides that he doesn't

want that kind of relationship with you. Everyone is attracted to different things

physically, emotionally, etc. – his preferences don't reflect on you as a person. Either way, it sounds like you have a really good friend who cares about you and if things don't work out with him romantically, there's still plenty of fish in the sea. Good luck!


Philip B. for Alterheros