Do my dreams mean I am bi?

Hi Briana,

First off, Please allow me to apologize for the lateness in getting back to you. Such long delays are very uncommon. So, if I’m understanding correctly, it seems that your are somewhat disturbed by some dreams you are having about homosexual encounters you are having with real life acquaintances. These dreams make being around these acquaintances very uncomfortable. You’re also a little worried that you might be bi as it would be difficult to tell you’re friends and family.

As for your dreams, dreams are weird. They almost never mean anything important and when they do it’s never a straightforward message from the unconscious mind, like the one you fear you are getting.

For example, you may have seen a movie or television show with a gay woman who bared a resemblance to one of the girls you are dreaming about. Something triggered this recent memory sequence in your brain while you were sleeping and this is how it manifested itself in crazy dream language. Now that you’ve begun to dwell on the dream, it reoccurs. This is just an example; it can be any number of things that brought about these dreams, most of which would be unverifiable.

In our day and age, with such high levels of sexual content and violence in our entertainment, dreams can get pretty messed up. It’s not uncommon to have sexual or violent dreams about platonic friends or even family members. Another thing to note, disturbing and stressful dreams are often brought on by stress.

So in other words, you’re far from being the first straight person to have a gay dream. It’s normal to dream that you are doing things that you would never do in real life.

If on the other hand, the evidence is starting to stack up and these recent dreams are sort of the nail in coffin to an imminent burial of your heterosexuality, fret not. Although it should be the responsibility of all liberal minded people to speak out against all forms of hate or discrimination against gays or any group, you are under no obligation to announce to the world that you are gay/bi the second you realize it. If you are gay/bi you could share this with your friends and a family if and when you find it appropriate to do so.

Hope this helps. Feel free to write us back with any further questions.

Philip for AlterHéros

About Philip Borden

Philip holds a baccalaureate in philosophy.

I enjoyed being involved with "Tell the experts" because I was looking for a way to help queer youth and I really enjoyed answering most of the questions so far. I feel I’m good at it and it feels good to help with people’s problems.