I have sexual fantasies about almost every woman I meet. How can we distinguish someone who is friendly from someone who wants intimacy?


Hi Iam 20 years old and i have sexually fantastis about almost everwoman i meet , expect for my family…i came to a new environment and it’s difficulty to extinguish who is being friendly and who wants itimacy…is for someone to ask you do in bed if they are not interested in having it with you?

 

Hi!

 

Thanks for trusting our team with your question 🙂

So, if I understand your question right, you want to know how to tell the difference between someone who is friendly and someone who is attracted to you.

 

Well, that’s a hard question to answer!

 

I would say, a good way to know if someone is attracted to you or not is by getting to know them, talking to them more often. If it’s not something you want to do, and it’s completely okay, I think the best way is to simply ask the person, if you’re comfortable with that of course! I could tell you that you can observe them, look for signs, but it can become really confusing!

 

When you are wondering if a woman is attracted to you, is it because you are attracted to her? Sometimes, when we are attracted to someone, we can start to analyze their behaviors more because we give them more importance. As my colleague mentioned in this answer to a previous question: « It isn’t particularly easy to understand someone’s intentions. Some people may be flirtatious and friendly by nature, while others only act that way with certain people. Therefore, your situation is a bit unclear to see what her intentions really are. I would suggest that you get to know her more as a person and as a friend. In doing so, you will be able to see if she still exhibits these actions towards you and/or her other friends. As you get to know her better, reflect on what you feel towards her (i.e. is there still attraction or not). These feelings will help guide you to what you want to do next (such as approaching her about any romantic interest or deciding it’s better to be friends).

Keep in mind that while her actions may appear to indicate an attraction, they may just be neutral behaviours towards you. »

 

As for your question about other women asking you about the things you do in bed, this is not really something that can indicate attraction from them, but at the same time it could be! Friends also talk often about sexuality. Maybe the next time it happens, you could ask her why she’s asking those questions? If there is a reason in particular?

 

Also, are you comfortable with these conversations? If you don’t want to talk about your sexual practices with someone else, you don’t have to! If you like it, then good! 🙂

 

I’m sorry for the vague answer, there are no really magic ways to know if someone is attracted to you, unfortunately. I hope it will still offer you some advice and don’t hesitate to contact us again!

 

Émilie (she/her), for AlterHéros

 


About Émilie Grandmont

Émilie is a bisexual and polyamorous woman. She has a a bachelor's degree in sexology from UQAM. She entered the program with the goal of learning more about sexual and gender diversity, sexual health and intersectional sex education. Today, she wants to help survivors of sexual assault and offer an inclusive and safe listening experience to anyone in the LGBTQIA2S+ community. Her friends would describe her as an animal lover, afraid of butterflies and hard to wake up in the wee hours of the morning.

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