I have a huge crush on my teacher, this could go somewhere bad and I don't think I would be strong enough to stop it
I (17)have such a huge crush on my teacher and i’m wondering if he likes me too
so, i have a crush on my 48 yo teacher and it’s been going on for 5 or so months now. I didn’t really think about having feelings for him until one day i was walking out of the class and saying bye and i caught him staring at my boobs. at first i felt pretty gross about the whole thing but now i find myself completely infatuated with him.
Sometimes when he is lecturing we’ll look at each other and it creates a weird pause, idk if i’m overthinking everything but i feel like he might like me too. We get into discussions after class and he called me mature and very socially aware and smart. All these things just made me feel so strongly for him, i feel like no other boy at my school would ever recognize me for being smart or even care enough to say it. i also ended up giving him music suggestions too, i really only do that if i like someone so much, i’m so dumb lol. But we both like poetry and old music and i have this dumb thought that no other teenage boy would get me like he does. He plays guitar and has a super hot stoner cali 70s voice and i am such an idiot for him. he also has a wife and kids so i feel pretty guilt ridden over the whole thing.
When we talk he also swears in front of me and treats me like an adult, and sometimes he will walk me through the cafe close to my next class so we can talk longer. he’s just everything i kind of want in a person, or at least i think, i can recognize that i am a hormone filled teenager. but i still really need help because i feel like there is a possibility this could go somewhere bad and i don’t think i would be strong enough to stop it.
First of all, I would like to thank you for your trust in AlterHéros.
To summarize your situation, you are 17 years old and gradually have developed a crush on your 48-year-old teacher, as you perceive signs that he may be interested in you as well. However, you still wonder if he actually likes you. This situation has left you with mixed emotions and has raised questions within yourself. You also have concerns about the possibility of this situation taking a wrong turn, and you wonder how you would react if that were to happen. When you mention “this could go somewhere bad,” are you referring to the potential of developing an intimate or sexual relationship with your teacher? Are you afraid that he might engage in behavior that makes you uncomfortable or crosses your personal boundaries?
You seem aware that something is not right in this situation, and I completely agree with you. Your teacher has indeed crossed a boundary that should exist between teachers and students. As your teacher, he holds an authoritative position over you, which grants him power, including the ability to influence your grades and other aspects of your education.
I want you to understand that you are not at fault and you have done nothing wrong. It is not uncommon for students to develop a small crush on their teacher, and as long as it remains one-sided, it generally poses no harm. However, when there is reciprocation involved, it becomes a problem. It is the responsibility of the teacher to establish appropriate boundaries in such situations. I am genuinely concerned about the behavior of your teacher towards you, and I believe it would be beneficial for you to discuss this situation with a trusted adult. Until you feel ready to do so, I recommend maintaining some distance from your teacher and informing one of your closest friends about the situation. That way, your friend could keep an eye on you. Remember, you don’t have to face this alone.
I understand that as a teenager, it’s common to feel lonely or misunderstood. However, I want to assure you that there will come a time when someone your age will recognize and value you for who you are. You will likely find someone with whom you share common interests. It’s just a matter of time before that connection happens!
Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us if you have any other questions.
Daphné Singh (she/her), volunteer for AlterHéros