I am lesbian and had desire for a man in a fantasy


well, I’ve been very confused since last night. i am a lesbian, and i know that very well, but since last night i just randomly thought of a shirtless guy, and got a lil’ turned on. but then when i thought of a shirtless girl the turning on kinda went away.
but i know really well I’m a lesbian, i really love girls, a lot. and would have a relationship, marry, and all that with her, but with guys i only want to be their friend.
i don’t ever want to have sex with a man, i don’t want to date a man, and sure as hell i don’t want to marry a man.
but now these thoughts are confusing me, help?
Yoshi
Hi Yoshi,
Thank you for taking the time to write to AlterHeros. If I understand correctly, you are asking yourself if what you felt is normal. Your thoughts are confusing you and you would like to make sense of everything.
To clarify a few things, I have a few questions for you. In your message, you clearly mention that your attraction to women is stronger. You can still find a man attractive without wanting to pursue something more than the attraction. It’s completely normal to be turned on by both men and women. You can identify yourself as a homosexual woman and still find some man attractive. Would you be more confortable to identify yourself as a bisexual? Would that reflect better your orientation? On top of desire, orientation is also based on feelings and conduct. You don’t have to identity yourself to one category or another. The most important is that you are confortable with your own thoughts and actions. It is really important to respect yourself in your reflection. Your wellbeing is the priority. Would you be able to talk about it with someone close to you? You could contact your local LGBT organization and they could get you in contact with people that could help you explore your thoughts more deeply. You can also communication on our forums with the members, and it would be a pleasure for them to support and guide you.
I hope this will help your situation and your confusion.
We thank you for your trust and please don’t hesitate to send us a message if you feel the need to!
Elizabeth, for AlterHéros
 

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