2 October 2004

Where to draw the line between admiration and attraction?

I don’t know what I am. I thought I was as straight as an arrow but this year I started highschool and I have a crush on some of my female teachers. Does this make me a lesbian/bi or do I just admire them alot?

Équipe -Pose ta question!-


Thanks for writing to us. It’s an interesting question that you ask- the line between admiration and attraction is difficult to determine. I think that whether you have crushes on your teachers, or just admire them– neither can really determine your sexual orientation. We live in a society that makes it seem “normal” to be heterosexual, so it’s perfectly normal to question what your attraction “makes you”.
I think that the important thing is to be true to yourself, and allow yourself to uncover your feelings, whatever they may be. I’ve been with women for over 8 years now, having uncovered my attraction to women in high school. I think that I was difficult to come to terms with, but only because it was so rarely talked about. It took me a few months to really understand my attractions, but as time progressed, it was something I couldn’t deny myself. And it was a great thing to realize! I used to have crushes on camp counsellors and teachers too, until I realized that my admiration was more– I wanted to be close on an emotional and, eventually, on a physical level as well.
And remember: You may not be ready to put a “label” on your feelings or put yourself in a particular “box” about your sexuel orientation but, if you are having crushes on girls then why not explore those feelings? It won’t necessarily be easy but, if you’re honest with yourself and those around you then hopefully it will help you come to your own conclusions about your sexuality over time.

Good luck!
Team AlterHeros