26 April 2008

My parents won't let me date before I turn 15

This is Katie again…the one who asked how come my boyfriend doesn’t treat me like his other girlfriends.
Your answer helped me a lot. He was my first kiss and the first guy I’ve held hands with…I really like him a lot…but something has come up…
I’m turning 15 in a 2 months. My parents won’t allow me to date until I turn 15 and even then we can’t go to the movies or anything until a couple months after he has been to my house and hanged out with my parents and family.
My sister found out today that I’ve been dating him for over a month now.
She says I have to break up with him until I turn 15 and he is allowed to date other girls in the meantime. I’m crying about it because he is the only guy that I’ve dated that I’ve liked this much before.
I’m scared that if I tell him this, he will soon move on and find another girl and by the time I do get to date it will be too late.
I just don’t want to let him go this way.I care about him way too much for this..What can I do? Josh is the only guy I’ve liked this much

catherine duguay

Hi Katie,

I’m really glad to hear that my advice helped, although now it seems like you might be having another issue.

Parents tend to be overprotective when you’re in your teens because they want to protect you, which is a natural thing for parents to be worried about. I know it’s hard, because that stops you from seeing this guy that you really like; but I think that if this guy likes you as much as you do, he will understand that your parents are like that (maybe his parents are like this too!). I know that right now, 2 months can seem like a very long time, but again if this person really loves you, it should not be that hard to wait.

On the other hand, maybe you could initiate some group activities where both your boyfriend and your family are present. Meeting him and knowing him may help your parents understand why you like this person so much and may lead to some kind of compromise.

It could also be helpful to talk to him about this situation, no matter how hard that may be. If you let him know how you feel, and that you really would like to be able to continue to date him when you turn 15, he might understand that and might be prepared to wait for you to be allowed to date.

On the other hand, he may not want to wait, for whatever reason; people sometimes have different wants and needs. You should never blame yourself if ever he said that he didn’t want to stick around and wait.

Most teenagers want to date and that is absolutely a normal part of being a teenager. Talking to him will make everything clearer so that you both know what each person wants, and if ever he decides that maybe he wants to go on, you have to respect and understand that without blaming yourself or your parents for it.

I hope this helps Katie! Please write to us again if you have other questions,

Catherine, for AlterHeroes