7 June 2007

I sometimes think I act in a weird way - I'm bi, but sometimes I think I'm gay !

I’m bi and it’s good. But sometimes I think I’m gay. That’s all in my head and it’s not true because when I see a girl I automatically think I like them. Then, I get confused. What the heck! I act differently when guys say: “that girl looks good”, I just say: “yeah” to go along with it. It’s weird.

Inge Rollin

Dear Chris,

I understand from your letter that you identify as bisexual, but sometimes think you are homosexual. I also understand that when you see a girl who might attract you, you feel like you can have feelings for her, but that when other guys tell you about girls you just go along with them but don’t necessarily feel like it.

I think there might be many possibilities, but only you could clarify this. You might feel like you can love a girl since it is something you have integrated as being the good way of things (by social conditioning, for instance), or you might feel you could like them because that is something you really think. You might say you find a girl attractive when you are with your friends just to go along with them, to belong, or to appear as being heterosexual… Having specific tastes in the people you are attracted to is not weird or strange, and it doesn’t necessarily just go with what everyone else judges as good. Not agreeing with guys around you about the type of girls who attract you is not a proof that you are homosexual or that you are weird.

I hope this could help you. Don’t be shy to ask the professionals around you if you need more support: sexologists and social workers are ready to give you their time.

Inge Rollin, Sexologue B.A.