13 July 2005

I might be bisexual, how to tell people around me?

Hi, I’m 16 and I’m in a relationship. I find both guys and girls attractive and somtimes fantasise that i’m having sexual pleasure with girls. I find girls attractive and want to experiment with them. I think i am a bi, but i don’t know if i should tell people. i would like to be able to tell people but i don’t know how, and i think that if i do my boyfriend won’t like me anymore. I know it sounds stupid but i’m really confused! Please help!


Hello Bex!

If you sincerely think that it would make you feel better, I encourage you to tell other people about your sexual orientation. The question is to whom do you want to tell this? You should try to talk about it with an open minded and close friend. You can do the same thing with someone in your family that you feel comfortable enough to share personal stuff. At first, you can bring up the subject of homosexuality just to see the reactions of the person you’re talking to. If you see an openness from his part, try to discuss on a more personal level like “what do you think of homosexuality?” or “some girl the other day had a crush on me, I felt really bad about it, what do you think about this?”. It’s a good way to know if the person you’re talking to his willing enough to talk about these things.

You should try the same thing with your boyfriend. Truth hurts sometimes but living in denial of your own self everyday is far worst. I’d rather tell the truth to relieve myself instead of hiding my true feelings just because I’m scared of other people’s reactions. If your boyfriend really loves you as you are, even though he might find this hard at first, he should understand and respect you. Now, I don’t know what could happen to your relationship. Will it be over or is he willing to live in a free relationship and see you experiment with other girls occasionally?

Whatever happens, if you feel comfortable enough with your sexual orientation, you should tell the truth. It’s the most important step you have to take, after that, you’ll feel much better about yourself and see others in a different way. If your boyfriend is an open minded person, he should understand. The same goes for your family or friends.

Good luck and if you have more questions, just write us another e-mail!