Hi Tom,

Thank you for writing to AlterHeros. I understand that you are questioning yourself about your gender identity.

Having a sexual orientation or another is not a sign of being trans. Sexual orientation and gender identity are different and not connected. A trans woman can be lesbian and a trans man can be gay or bisexual, vice-versa.

You are wondering if you are trans. Do you identify yourself as a woman ? Do you feel that you’re a woman, deep inside? It can be very difficult to answer this question; you will probably need a lot of time and a deep reflection to be sure about your gender identity. During this period, it could be very helpful to have someone respectful, open-minded and trustworthy to confide in. Questioning your gender identity could be a difficult period of your life. You can also search for organizations in your area that provide support to trans people and people who are questioning their gender identity.

About the steps to take afterwards, I couldn’t precisely answer you. It depends of the country you are living in. However, I can give you some personal and social steps that you may take to see how you feel. You could start to think of another name, to dress yourself in more traditionnally feminine clothes, to shave your facial hair (and hair on your chest, legs and armpits if you want it), to wear kind of breast prosthesis (for example, made of gel), etc. Another step you can take is to frequent an organization that provides services to trans people, like discussion group and meeting with other trans people could help you during your transition (they might be able to give you tips!).

Hope this will help you,

Sabrina, AlterHeros