17 September 2005

I am not sure of my sexual orientation

I don’t know if I’m gay. Lately I have become really uncertain if I am. I have always made friends better with girls rather than guys, ever since a young age. I have tried dating girls on several occasions but usually they just brushed me off because “I just want to stay friends”. I have always had a question in the back of my brain weather or not I was gay, and recently I have had it appearing more and more. On occasion I get arroused by women, but I get more arroused by men. I have become attracted to guy that I have met recently (at a summer camp) and I really got confused when this happened (thats when the questions started). I did nothing, and acted like everything was normal, but deep down inside I was a turmoil of emotions.
I need help and advice


Hi Jonathan,

Thanks for your question.

Don’t worry, it’s completely normal to question your sexual orientation. You are not alone in this situation. To help yourself, I think that it is important to take the time to ask yourself what you want specifically, what you desire. Ask yourself what emotions you feel towards guys and girls. Clarify your feelings about girls and guys and take your time to explore.

Also, do you think it is possible that you are bisexual? It’s a possibility and you know that the bisexuality is not uncommon. But, search for what you really want, what it is you desire and especially what you are feelings. Take it slow and go with your feelings in your heart. Do you see yourself in ten years in a relationship with a girl, a guy, or either one or another ?

I can recommend you to join some LGBTQ group where you can talk about you experience and share with other people.

Best wishes,

AlterHeros team.