I am in love with my best friend, but I want our relationship to get back at how it was !
12 YEARS AGO, BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL, I MET THIS GUY AND WE BECOME FRIENDS AND ONE DAY HE ASK ME TO BE HIS GIRLFRIEND AND I SAID YES AND WE DATE FOR 3 MONTHS UNTIL I FOUND OUT HE WAS GAY AND I WAS SO IN LOVE WITH HIM AND NOW TODAY I’M STARTING TO HAVE FEELING FOR HIM AGAIN AND WE ARE SO BEST FRIENDS. SO HOW WOULD I LET THESE FEELING GO AWAY AND WILL HE ALWAYS BE GAY? I WANT TO MARRY HIM AND HAVE HAVE KIDS BUT HE WILL ALWAYS LIKE GUYS RIGHT? I JUST WANT THESE FEELINGS TO GO AWAY CAUSE IT IS HARD FOR ME TO TALK TO HIM AND BE HIS BEST FRIEND. I WANT THIS OVER WITH AND I WANT TO MOVE ON BUT IT HARD WHEN I HAVE STRONG FEELING FOR THIS PERSON THAT BEEN YOUR BEST FRIEND FOR 12 YEARS AND HAVE A BOYFRIEND. PLEASE HELP ME, I JUST WANT TO BE HIS BEST THE WAY IT WAS.
Friendship can be so deep sometimes that you can fall in love one day with your best friend. In your situation, it’s a little bit different because you already fell in love with him, few years ago. Do you know if your feelings for him stopped, or that you just had hidden them for the last twelve years ? Although only you have the answer and it will be helpful for you to know it.
If your friend is sure he is homosexual, there is nothing you can do. There is a possibility that he is bisexual, but your friend is the only one who knows his own sexual orientation. So, you must talk with him about it to know the final answer.
You said, in your question, that you want to have kids with him. Does he wants kids ? Although some gay men don’t want any kids, for some other it would be their dream. I saw once on TV a family which in was a mother and two father that were in a couple. The other side happens too : a couple formed by two women having a baby with an heterosexual guy… I don’t know if you have ever thought about this situation ; it is an hypothesis, nothing more…
Finally, there is no magic advice to make these feelings go away. You can’t decide for your heart. In other hand, you can tell him how you feel about him so he will try to help you. Once you will have talk about it, you may feel better and it will be easier for you two to stay best friends. Don’t worry: if he is your best friend, he will understand you.